It’s rare that the news stories that would usually be relegated to the “bizarre news” section make it onto the front pages, but over the last few days the fantasies of two famous men have forced their way into the public consciousness. Muammar Gaddafi and Charlie Sheen have probably never met. Though given the proclivity for Hollywood stars to dabble in foreign policy, you never know, but they share a number of qualities, such as a slipping grip on reality and easy access to TV interviewers through which to share their musings.
Some examples of recent:
1. They both have a problem with drugs.
Gaddafi: “The anti Gaddafi protesters ages are 17. They give them pills at night, they put hallucinatory pills in their drinks, their milk, their coffee, their Nescafe.”
Sheen: “I took more drugs than anyone could survive. Yeah, I’m on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen! It’s not available, because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off, and your children will weep over your exploded body.”
2. They’re both having trouble with those close to them.
Gaddafi on the rebels: “Rats and cats … traitors and cowards. Come out of your homes, attack them in their dens.”
Sheen on his producer: “I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”
3. They’re both prepared to do violence to protect what’s theirs.
Gaddafi, when asked about cracking down on the rebellion: “Peaceful protest is one thing but armed rebellion is another. All their crimes they committed are punishable by execution under Libyan law” and “The unity of China was more important than those people on Tiananmen Square.”
Sheen, when asked about his violent streak: “Now, (only) when it’s needed to protect my family. And it’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen.”
4. They both have a slightly distorted self image.
Gaddafi on himself: “People like the Queen of Britain, Elizabeth II, don’t have the authority to enact official rules and that’s exactly like my situation.”
Sheen on himself: “I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. You can’t process me with a normal brain. I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”
5. They both refuse to reconsider their workplace behavior. ~ Okie Dokie ~
Gaddafi: “Muammar Gaddafi is the leader of a revolution. Muammar Gaddafi has no official position to resign from. He is the leader of the revolution forever. This is my country, my country.”
Sheen: “I’m supposed to be out there all humble and asking for my job. No, I don’t do that. I don’t understand what I did wrong except live a life that everyone is jealous of.”
6. They both like trophy blondes though Sheen probably wins in this category.
~ Sorry about that "Moe" ~
7. Things could turn out badly for both of them.
CBS on Sheen: “Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of Two and a Half Men for the remainder of the season.”
U.S. military spokesman on Gaddafi: “We have planners working various contingency plans, and I think it’s safe to say as part of that we’re repositioning forces to provide for that flexibility once decisions are made” and this news item: “Nuclear powered aircraft carrier USS Enterprise is currently heading towards the mouth of the Suez Canal in the Red Sea after suspending anti piracy mission off Somalia, followed by the amphibious warship USS Kearsarge.”
~ Rather Bizarre yet Kinda Comparable ~
Not a typical write but a parody of these to never the less. In this case of these two less might mean more.
ReplyDeleteMoe and Charlie, a team of egomaniacs seperated by a few thousand miles but together in spirit!
ReplyDeleteGood essay Jack. It's a needed parody considering all the attention Sheen has been getting for his bizarre ruminations.
Exellent blog, Jack.. kudos !!
ReplyDeleteyeah..bizzare... what some come out of in this life..nice blog!
ReplyDeleteNice Blog Jack
ReplyDeletehugs
Doug you have to laugh at the parody. :)
ReplyDeleteI am so tired of hearing peoples lives on Television and something which is too the contrare of what news is
ReplyDeleteabout. Hence I thought this would be good for a laugh. As well rather than the very serious things and how
we see them all on the news. Satarize it as these two do have a few things in common. Neither of
which I would wish to be. "it's funny how these to have this self righteous manner".
Where this self righteous manner may lead might not be to the right.
Tori, when you look at either of these two and how they talk. Well....:)
ReplyDeleteThanks Karen - it's a different style of, " I Can ". :)
ReplyDeleteDoug as you have wrote there is much going on there with Moe as I call him. You have wrote on him and as of the past two months there is and has been a name of a group that always never is seen on the radar. They have in the past worked this way and seemingly still today. The Canadian Special Military Ops are there and they have been for the last two months.
ReplyDeleteAlthough not even the Canadian government will admit they are there and "Moe" as I call him may be in for more of a surprise and it wont be a urine test. Mind you he may give one anyways. :) And it's no fiction.
But...
Charlie, he did a test and silly him he didn't realize that most of these test pending on what type will go back and show evey the type of Cheerios, which one has at over the last six months. So it's all kind of bizarre - yet the irony is they don't think so.
An Ode to "Moe and Joe" yet it Moe and Charlie.
lol great blog
ReplyDeleteRather than things being so serious, to look at things and have a giggle Pam. :)
ReplyDeleteA great day to ya. This eskimoe has to get going. But shall see ya later on.
Get Sheens fire breathing fists into Libya to sort out Gadaffi...problem solved..;))
ReplyDeleteColin leave out the names and you have a song. A Rock Song.
ReplyDelete