Last night I ended up taking my mother into the hospital and right now I just arrived back and I really don’t know what to say. She is having extras done now and this has been some kind of month that one does now really usually experience all within time.
I may write a little more. I am really very angry about several things. As this dynamic is not what I wished it to be. I realize that we all come in and out of this life here on earth however I returned into something that certainly has not been an enriching situation.
What is the meaning of life? I ponder that one as here I am tending to family. My middle name seems to be caregiver. Whereas I wish to get on with things.
Right now as I write this I hope that she is going to be alright as there are some ramifications if this word cancer comes up again. Most of all she is a tremendous lady and how it seems that I returned back here at the beginning of the year and I have dealt with three major issues that required a hospital with three family members. Yet my brother sits and just it's back to let Jack take care of it and that while there is only so much one can take in a give point of time. I am not sure if I had mention that she had cancer back some five or six years ago. So again it’s that waiting thing.
I don’t thrive on the negative in fact I have always enjoyed the positive side of things. Maybe I should have ….., or maybe I should have…..I am doing that should have could have….Sorry this is not an eye candy or feel great write. However I one thing as a goal right now for myself and we shall see what takes place with this at hand.
I have appreciated those that have remained friends on here. I really have.
Sorry to hear things are so unsettled right now. At least they will figure out what she needs and will care for her. Hang in there. Hugs
ReplyDeleteIt is clearly a very stressful time for you right now Jack....it's good that you express these feelings in your blog.
ReplyDeleteTake care
AA
Ar...n, I have no troubles with the exception of family matters and I thank you.
ReplyDeleteSo hence I wrote as if one contains something they will burst. I thank you it's a very kind gesture and thank you.
Jack
Jack, hang in there the best you can. Things can really get hard at times, but hopefully it will get better.
ReplyDeleteLynn, I have seen things and but this has been a tad much with all of this happening all in such a period of time.
ReplyDeleteThanks, I don't know what more to say with this but maybe there is some meaning within this? I think that perhaps
it is what it is and the hopes are that there is not a return of cancer as then things really open up with what I have
to undertake within my family.
Frankly I don't know what to think right now. Accept to accept it.
Thanks Lyn....
Vicki, I have read your blogs and if during this time I may say one thing - you are a tremendous writer and thank you so much for the support.
ReplyDeleteThis is a lot for one person to handle. Maybe its just too hard for the others in your family to face the reality of these things. I sure hope that things turn for the better soon.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for all you are going through, it's a lot when it all seems to fall on you. Try to keep positive.
ReplyDeleteJim my older brother has always turned and looked the other way. But it will work out. I don't know how at times but I just find that time to just let it all go - especially during times like right now. I know she is in good hands and you have to leave it up to acceptance. Otherwise one will break.
ReplyDeleteDanni I do, if there is one thing I don't hesitate in saying is that I wish I was married at this time. I have had ample opportunity since my return to Canada but I think you know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteI do find that positive and I know where and how in real life of where to let it out. This is where as well you find those that are online friends.
Thank you Danni glad your a friend on here as with the several that have wrote earlier.
"Acceptance is the key to the things that we have no control over" < I live by that when things like this come up and there is a long story behind it of when I returned to Canada...
I don't say this lightly, I know what you are going through and will keep you in my prayers, it is hard to be strong 24/7 and alone too...wishing you easier days Jack
ReplyDeleteDanette, thanks it's acceptance is the key and there is merit within this blog. I mean that I write independantly and I just had one call from my mother's brother whom lives three hours away and it's not the same as with my father. She is one that really is ....I don't know how to define her right now Dannette but sometimes I ponder if at one time I should have never walked away from New York and walked into Cancer.
ReplyDeleteHowever this will pass...
ReplyDeleteThank you Brixy...
ReplyDelete"Comment deleted at the request of the author."
ReplyDeleteI don't know why this happens....as I did not delete any comment hmmm...
The person that wrote it deleted it.
ReplyDeleteOk I see Lynn, as I have this on "networks" it does not go out to everyone...I thought that might be part of the reason.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are with you and your family. It saddens me that sometimes other family members don't or won't do their part. That's why we are called family, to give and take. Not just to always give. God Bless and Jack please take care of yourself or you won't be any good for or to anyone~smilies~d~
ReplyDeletePraying for healing and praying for strength and guidance for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you one hour ago her ctscan was done and she is clear of cancer. Darlene thank you.
ReplyDeleteJeff thanks this was no hoax and as of one hour ago she has no cancer - this is good. Yes yes yes!!!
ReplyDeleteI wiill pray for you and especially for your mom. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteWonderful! Praise!!
ReplyDeleteEffectively she has no cancer and she is going to be fine I thank you mucho Anne
ReplyDeleteHello, I'm glad to read in comments your mom is going to be well at last. All my prayers towards you for those hard time.
ReplyDeleteBabs ♥ ♥ ♥
Thanks Babs - things went well as she has no cancer so it's working out great.
ReplyDeleteThe weight of the world is now off your shoulders... I'm sure it feels wondrous! Get some sleep now Jack :-), My love, prayers, and BIG ((((((HUGS)))))) to you... Namaste' my friend
ReplyDeleteSlept went and got her and then went about my own day. It's all good!
ReplyDeleteGod will not put more on your shoulders than you can bear.Glad to know that your mom is doing better.Take care Jack,prayers being sent your way.
ReplyDeleteParrie thank you I swear my time clock is completely off after the last three day. But waking this morning was cool, but yet warm within spirit.
ReplyDeleteNo words, but a hug. Well, one thing: we regret many things in life, but you will never have to regret that you weren't there for your family. Sometimes our lives get put on hold because of it, and that causes frustration.
ReplyDeleteSusan thanks and yes. I miss you as your not on here much any more it's not like the old days but all that said I just arrived home on this Saturday. I thank you and Sue you know I have always believed in you and have seen you as a very good friend. She is doing alright - going through some stages right now but I know you know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteYou know how things were earlier and you know how things would be for me now and in all of that Sue - I am doing good and I wish you a very happy long weekend - Memorial Day...Hugs to the one that does not write here on multiply much but is a endearing friend.
Frustrated? No I just get on with it Sue. But on this day I was.
Thanks and a very huge hug to you there in Ohio!
One thing I know about you Jack, and that is you always do keep moving forward. Thanks for the holiday wishes, and thanks for being a friend!
ReplyDeleteWhat can one say-life gets tough and sometimes life gets tougher and yet somehow we manage through it all and come out stronger in the end-a hard time for you and of course you sometimes wish yourself back to a time when things were less stressful but you know life "sucks" sometimes but when you need a "hug" or a pull out of the "valley" just shout and here we are.
ReplyDeleteYes indeed, when I arrived here as mentioned there were a host of things that came about with matters that I understood well, and then I when she came to be ill - it's was one month after just having one other parent that was in there. It was not stressful until I saw that she had declined but she is doing well and as for me, today ( Saturday ) was really the first time in which I pulled back out of that "valley" in which you refer too and in doing things as I have today, I enjoyed things and you kind of gain more of an understanding of whom you are and that there are no perfections in life but the choices of perspective are something that one does obtain after situations as such.
ReplyDeleteSmiling and thank you Heidi.
Yes indeed, when I arrived here as mentioned there were a host of things that came about with matters that I understood well, and then I when she came to be ill - it's was one month after just having one other parent that was in there. It was not stressful until I saw that she had declined but she is doing well and as for me, today ( Saturday ) was really the first time in which I pulled back out of that "valley" in which you refer too and in doing things as I have today, I enjoyed things and you kind of gain more of an understanding of whom you are and that there are no perfections in life but the choices of perspective are something that one does obtain after situations as such.
ReplyDeleteSmiling and thank you Heidi.