Speaking of such, I had a bad bowel movement this morning. As you know I don't share everything but I was out at 8:00am. And while I was driving between "here and there", suddenly I found that there was some despair. I pushed down the pedal as I wanted to get to the nearest gas station or restaurant and I was holding on if you know what I mean.
Then I saw inspiration and I thought I was eating prunes, but that still did not do it so then I thought of just relaxing and saying what was the worst thing that could happen. Well, the worst could happen!
I went to fill up my car and fortunately I was able to get to the restroom. Yet I did not make much sound but I certainly did take up their paper. 
All is alright now and for those that can see the past post and as well as this page. Once again it's that finality of the funniest things. It can be what ever YOU wish it to be. Part one was rather fun to say the least.
There is an attachment to this blog - just so you know.
http://initiativestain.multiply.com/journal/item/278/Peter_Piper_Picked_A_Pepper_
My husband says that's called a Shit 'n Git. :O
ReplyDeleteWell yeah :) .....
ReplyDeleteLAST CALL FOR COMIC RELIEF Since you put it that way, my friend.......... you had yours today. Hate it when that happens.......
ReplyDeleteWhat does a pirate drive on vacation?
An AAAARRRRRRRRR V
THREE COWBOYS ARE SITTING AROUND THE CAMPFIRE OUT ON THE LONESOME PRAIRIE; WITH THE BRAVADO FOR WHICH EACH IS FAMOUS, IT IS A NIGHT OF TALL TALES.
ReplyDeleteTHE GUY FROM B.C. SAYS, 'I MUST BE THE STRONGEST, MEANEST, TOUGHEST COWBOY THERE IS. WHY, JUST THE OTHER DAY, A BULL GOT LOOSE IN THE CORRAL. IT HAD GORED SIX MEN BEFORE
I WRESTLED IT TO THE GROUND BY THE HORNS WITH MY BARE HANDS AND CASTRATED THAT SUCKER WITH MY TEETH.'
THE GUY FROM ALBERTA COULDN'T STAND TO BE BESTED. THAT'S NOTHING, 'I WAS WALKING DOWN THE TRAIL YESTERDAY AND A FIFTEEN FOOT DIAMONDBACK RATTLER SLID OUT FROM UNDER A ROCK AND MADE A MOVE FOR ME. I GRABBED THAT BASTARD WITH MY BARE HANDS, BIT ITS HEAD OFF AND SUCKED THE POISON DOWN IN ONE GULP AND DIDN'T EVEN GET A BELLY ACHE.'
THE COWBOY FROM SASKATCHEWAN REMAINED SILENT, SLOWLY STIRRING THE CAMPFIRE COALS WITH HIS PECKER.
Laughing, this has been a real load of fun- I now have to go back to yesterdays to read those I missed -
Oh believe you me I will I have done some small utubes but I will do a contribure I promise you I just dont want to hog the whole space nor is it "too Jack"..or about Jack, if you know what I mean. In fact there are a frew that if they wanted they could logg into my id and password. But that has not happened but this is really a special thing and I too will contribute with a write. Promise.
ReplyDeleteOh believe you me I will I have done some small utubes but I will do a contribure I promise you I just dont want to hog the whole space nor is it "too Jack"..or about Jack, if you know what I mean. In fact there are a frew that if they wanted they could logg into my id and password. But that has not happened but this is really a special thing and I too will contribute with a write. Promise.
ReplyDeleteBut here I see that Bev from Australia has one and where are the people from different places and spaces?
Beverly! laughing!!!
ReplyDeleteTHE COWBOY FROM SASKATCHEWAN ....I'm not touching that one Bev.... I'm laughing too Jack. :)
ReplyDeleteI see a few people floating on by. Yes I used to be in Saskatchewan and my folks were born there but hey I was a transient one!
ReplyDeleteI have never stood close to a fire nor have been a cowboy per se. LOL
Bathroom troubles
ReplyDeleteThree old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps."
The second old man says, "You think you have problems. I'm eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps."
Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up."
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What was its name?
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques-visulization, association-it made a huge difference for me."
"That's great! What was the name of the clinic?"
Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember.
Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. . ."Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
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A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. When she arrives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape into the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain. "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape but static." "Sorry about, that," replied the store clerk. "We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?" The blonde replied, "It's called 'Head Cleaner.'" .......I'm trying to keep the funnies clean.....:)
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Two blondes walking down the street. One reaches into her pocketbook for a make up compact and looks into the mirror. "This picture looks like someone I know" she says. The other one has a look and says, "Of course dummy, it's ME...."
"CALL US FOR ASSISTANCE"
ReplyDeleteThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot. The horrified nurse said, 'Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?'
The lady said, 'My phone doesn't have an eleven.'
You have to hate Spam! lol
ReplyDeleteWell, days are not the same, surprises, surprises!!!
ReplyDeleteLove Monty Pyton.(Vikings on this clip!!!)
Kisses.
lol Viking drives and RV or AAAAAAAAAAAARV? :)
ReplyDeleteThis one is for Bev,
ReplyDeleteTasmanians never brag
A Tasmanian is drinking in a Victorian Pub when he gets a call on his
mobile phone and as he listens to the call he starts grinning from ear to
ear.
Once he disconnects he shouts to the barman that he wants to buy everyone
in the bar a drink.
The barman starts serving the drinks and the people start to crowd around
keen to know what they are celebrating.
'Well' he announces, 'My wife's just produced a typical Tasmanian baby boy
weighing 25 pounds'.
Nobody can believe that any baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the
Tasmanian just shrugs, 'That's about average in Tassie . Like I said, my
boy is a typical Tasmanian boy.'
Congratulations showered him from all around and many exclamations of
'STREWTH' were heard.
One woman even fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later the Tasmanian returns to the bar.
The bartender says 'You're the father of that typical Tassie baby that
weighed 25 pounds at birth aren't you? Everybody's been having bets about
how big he'd be in 2 weeks, we were going to call you.
So - how much does he weigh now?'
The proud father answers: '17 pounds'.
The bartender is puzzled and concerned. 'What happened? He weighed 25
pounds the day he was born!'
The father takes a l-o-n-g s-l-o-w swig from his Cascade, wipes his lips
on his shirt sleeve, leans onto the bar and proudly says .... 'Had him
circumcised!'
GARRRRRRRRRRN , you are kiddin' us mate. Sure it wasn't you? LOLLLLLLLLL
ReplyDeleteWell ......:)
ReplyDeleteIt was a beauty, couldn't resist that one Dee - hahahahaha
ReplyDeletehahahahahahahaha thanks Muzz, told ya they grow everything BIG in Tassie - Laughing
ReplyDeleteTwo Little Elderly Ladies
ReplyDeleteTwo little elderly ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.
The thin one leaned over and Said, 'Life is so boring. We never have any fun any more. For £10 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!'
'You're on!' said the other old lady, holding up a £10 note. The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) t hrough the front door of the flower show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. The smiling and naked old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
'What happened?' asked her waiting friend.
'I won 1st prize as Best Dried Arrangement.
You know Beverly, there are 65 people on my blog. I have been enjoying this but my ponder is why only 10% would like to laugh.
ReplyDeletebeats me Jack. Laughing is the way to live mate. Makes living so worth while. If you can bring a smile to someone each day , you have done your allotted good deed. Smiling XXX
ReplyDeleteSo it is Beverly. I am not going to push anyone into things but life is about and excursion outside of thing being too serious.
ReplyDeleteSmiling with you and as well to those that do believe in not posturing but enjoying...the picture taken today on this blog was with the intention to have some fun.
I had done a peace sign, I had done a smiley. But when it comes down to it there are those that have that magic of enjoyment and then there are those that
want to be isoloated on there own blog. Let the walls come down people and just enjoy it and what ever you have it's will be gone tomorrow. As I promised.
Did Ed Sullivan talk to Toppo Gizzo like this............ : )
Nah it just happened.
almost missed this reply Jack, ducked outside for a min between rain showers-
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY mate, let the walls come down,so the laughter can come through. hugs
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ReplyDeleteright , let your hair down is the way to go mate & I loved the little song at the end -LOL
ReplyDeleteI am about to close for the night , but had to pop back in to see if I had missed anything, glad I did-- Yes Jack FUN is the operative word for sure. XX
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ReplyDeletewell I hope that was heard and we shall move on with things I tend to banter on and on......: )
ReplyDeleteThere are too many people that have contributed to really name them all. But it's appreciated - certainly is.
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with being gay...I'm very happy too.
ReplyDeleteHetro here.....:) But happily placed...
ReplyDeleteI think it's time to make a conclusion to this and if any one knows of anything from which to summarize this with.
ReplyDeleteIt lays within your hands.
G'day Jack,
ReplyDeleteTo stop thinking of our troubles if only for a little while
A joke or two lightens the darkest day by a country mile.
It has been a fun filled two days with our blues on the run
Thanks for opening up your page so all could join the fun
Well put Wendy and I think that is the conclusion to this.
ReplyDeleteAnd it was fun!