They Never Said It would be EASY...

Ironically I found this in my wallet today it was from a clipping from the newspaper when I went to visit my folks before summertime....

I don’t dwell but each and every one of us does have a time in which we do. Last night I was in shock. I had lost my job coupled with the fact that my father went back into the hospital the same day. Some of you know me by way of writings and I am sending this out by way of only contacts.
I think that most all of my contacts are people that have come to know me as an authentic person on here.

Either way – does it really matter no and yes I am reserve. This part of my life I don’t wish to share my stores with the entire Internet. The first thing I did today was getting up and get with it. I called this therapist that I have since I moved here to Edmonton and we had two hours of a talk.

I told him of being hired after the loose of a job that was within the Airport here and I picked it back up and took something less. Not less but something that I could do without all the areas that I have been accustom too. His thoughts were that I should go back into my area that I have done since I was in my early twenties. Regardless of how many do know me, he felt that my confidence and as well the way that I am a people person and in his own words “Jack you’re a very captivating person, that may make some feel threatened”. I said to Brian, that I have to take one day to come to realize what I want. As I am not going to fall into a depression, I am going to go about this again and succeed or fail – I will have tried. So that is my plans. But I keep things in a certain manner so that I don’t try to do everything in one day.

This will succeed even if I have to move it will.

Today I met with my good friend he is like a brother to me and as well I called my own brother. Gary is going through is own things with divorce and managing a new girl friend at the same time that really is a great gal. Right now she is in Argentina – and I think she just needed some time out to get her own thoughts together.  Ironically as I would have loved to be there at one point in time a few years ago. But this is now.

My father is back in the hospital. I really don’t know all that is involved at this point as he has been doing well while as it was told to me that he has three months or so to live. There is a story there but for some they already know it.

What killed me was that I had this person that was formerly army and an older gent.  He was appointed to be my mentor but within a few days when you hear a person stating that “I am taking my crazy pills”, rather than some that have to take something and will do it in confidence. I sort of knew this guy was way out there. After two weeks of using the “f” word, upon a request of learning on tracking system, he always was taken off guard and was impolite. So, that is when I just said to him that he really does not need to act this way and I did not get angry, I just told him that if he has a problem that perhaps the best thing was that he goes and takes a look in the mirror. Well I did not exactly say that but I said that in so many words that it really meant that, as I was tired of him.

A gentleman that was there for some 20 years caught me in the lunch room and told me that I was doing well and that if it’s just this one program that takes up two hours of the end of my day, for me to talk to my boss. Bimbo Joe had called a meeting the time that I told him to knock off the language and attitude. And the boss was just a young chap that went along with things but thankfully Dale was appointed my trainer when he offered it and for the past two weeks if not more after one day I have been doing great.

On Monday I had some new recruited guy in and I was appointed to train him on the basics. I was enjoying the day and then when I went into my computer that was still tied in with “Army Joe’s” computer. I had seen something that was inputted – and it was within my area. I was too busy but then Ken as his name really is – he asked me at around noon why I had place one tracking system in. I know he was up to something, and I asked him if I should take it out or if he wished too. As there were only four done by me at this time of the day and that was not mine.
Later on, everything was finished and the last half hour I went around the building and explained the different areas to this new person. Then…
When I returned, everyone was gone and my boss named Tom asked me to come into his office. Tom is really young. His hands were shaking and he said that again I made a mistake and that he would have to let me go. I sat down and told him that if this was the culture and he was letting older men tell force him to keep a certain style of team. The I told him that that was his problem and as well I indicated to him that in having me teach someone on the same day that he was letting me go – was anything but a leader or manager. I did not get angry, I just went about it all as I know that there is a side to this city here in Edmonton where people jump from one thing to another without any regards to any thought of what there resume will look like.

So, I arrived home and I had a call from my aunt thereafter and I was told that my father is back in the hospital in the city I lived before. This last Monday was something I was so unprepared for. I think I was in a bit of shock – I called a few friends and then I just knew that today I would not loose the momentum.

My mother called tonight to say that my father was all right and she explained what had been done. I told her that was great and I even told her that my brother and I who lives an hour away would be getting together this weekend. She was happy but she said that to not place too much into it as he has his own problems. I think she was referring to his wife, but I really don’t care. Today I had lunch with a friend and then formatted my computers to start again.

I will not loose my momentum, but I may have to leave this city and accept something from another. But I am not stressed out over all this. I am just going to see how things pan out and meet up with a few people from my former occupation that I have done since I was in my early 20s. If I were in America right now, I would have easily six offers. And sometimes that does hit it but hey that is the way life goes.

I pray that my father’s situation either stays where it’s at, as I would like to see him one more time, or I hope that he has no pain. My mother knows that I am a call away from being there. And at the end of all this. I am sure that you all kind of know I enjoy music. Maybe Gary was right and I should have followed along with my creative side and I might be doing something within that realm.

However that all being said when I am nearing retirement I do know what I am going to do, but for now these are all heavy lessons I am learning during a small portion of my life when I look at it from the outside.
 
Yet like anyone I am human