Holidays - Destination of Feelings

Often I find holidays do bring out the best as well sometimes it can be a time a time that weighs heavily. Either divorced, or something of some nature weighs heavily. Holidays can bring out the best while at the same time brings out remorse.  Certainly there are introverts and extroverts and there is nothing wrong with being an introvert. Some find themselves down due to the dilemmas of what they have at hand. Yet here too – many of times I sense that some feel that they are not part of life but are just wondering within life.

I was out early this morning as I am still working out with my gums mending. I find that within the morning I will get up and just get on with it, as I don’t wish to think about negative things. Sure I am single, or divorced and I was talking to one of my old friends on by way of telephone when I arrived home. He is as well married and lives three hours from here. For the sake of his privacy I don’t with to say his name. Let’s call him Joe for the case of animosity. It took a long time till Joe found someone within his life. He had everything all within his grasp and Joe’s father owned a good half if not more of this small town. Joe had this one girlfriend that he had gone out with for two years everyone assumed that they would be married one year after graduating. Joe engaged the girl. They were only three years apart and there came a time where he found out by way of myself and a few other friends that she was – shall we say dating other guys.

He went through a very devastating break up while he was at the age of 18 and his sister in law called me I guess she thought the two of us would hit it off – and we did not entirely as I never had the same group of friends as Joe. I myself had just gone through my own perhaps smaller breakup with what I consider my very real first love. I remember her name even to this day it was Sherrie. For that summer Joe and I hung out. Often we would just either drop over to his families bowling place or we would hang around my father’s donut shop and chit chat over coffee either I was over at place – of the bowling place or he would drop over at the “shop”. Joe decided to go to university for one year. I think it was more of a departure and get away. We along with another rented out our own apartment and I don’t think Joe was really into it all with university he was just passing time. As time passed by Joe only placed in one year of university and then returned to the family business. He had a different feeling of things then. I never really chummed with him all that much during high school but within that one call by way of his sister in law we formed a friendship. Later within years to come Joe came down with MS. I had no clue as to how badly he was, as I had never seen him in some time. As things turned out Joe ended up getting married, he took his time with a prolonged engagement to someone that seemed to fit. Now he is doing very well. He has MS, as well since grade eleven he has been a diabetic. Yet to see him you would never even think he had these situations to deal with in life. He hasn’t declined, he is married, the two of them do have a child and in speaking to Joe it seems that all is well and find.

He was asking me how I was doing and I indicated how things were going and ironically we only had half an hour to talk but seemingly what I have found is that time plays a factor. I asked Joe what his thoughts were with how all has transpired within his life and he said that there were days that he was so depressed that for a good six months back a few years he could not get out of bed. Then things started to improve. Things obviously are not perfect for Joe as he has MS combined with being a diabetic but to see him you would never think it. His claim within life is to allow time to heal things. The merits of this true story are that everyone goes through something. Some do at a young age and some do at an older age but this commodity of time is a healer. Before we got off the phone he was asking me how my situation is. He had never heard the entire story of my leaving Canada and going to New York and then coming back. There was allot of hearsay but he could understand all too well where I had been and where I am. He asked how my family was and more with regards to my former wife. Well that was something to say within the amount of time that we had.

Before the end he said, “you remember what I went through at a young age and how you helped me. As well what I have learned is there are good people that are worth keeping within your life and not to think for one second that life has passed you by” It hit and I told him of the plans that I have put into place and he said never let anyone stand in your way as you helped me get through something back when we were younger and don’t think for a second that you are alone out there as everyone has always looked up to you and that has something to be said for.” I told him that aside of this tooth, I have been doing my very best. It’s funny how you can have friends that are good for you, but ultimately you have to forge it on your own. Seemingly, Joe understood where I was coming from and he said, “you don’t sound any different than the person I knew years back and if and when in town call first. And if not just keep in mind what I went through and life is not perfect but I had one person at probably the worst time within my life that helped me with that time. Aside of this healing gum, I feel fortunate sure there are times that things seem heavy. But there not too heavy and I am not stuck in carrying it all. I truly feel that time is within my stride. Yet I know that there are some that do feel a little down when holidays arrive. I think what one feels is to there own and life is not all perfect yet I am very content on this Easter where many are married. I am comfortable within how things are going. Yet if I was to focus on the negative things I would be most probably down and out. Hence time is within my stride and one thing is leading into another.    I feel fortunate as I don’t feel that time is heavy. I am not sure about you but sometimes it’s seems that everything is within life now has a reason or there just is a natural order in the manner that things are working out. 

As luck would have it, wouldn’t you know how we all get to a certain stage of life and things do change compared to where they where within the yesterdays. Things can seem heavy but they are only as heavy as you allow them to be. Now I don’t think either of us could think on things within this way. As back then we were still a little wet behind the ears and green.

For that matter I think in some ways we still are. But the most important thing is that seemingly we have come to realize what is important. The way I see it is that it's normal to feel what you feel...