My Weekend - Contact Friends

Over the weekend there was not that much to do.  Sunday I was bored out of my head.  I know idle time is the worst as you start to muster everything and being to over think.  Thing of all that has taken place and right up to the weekend – I was doing fine actually good with everything taken into account.

Weekends off days as I don't wish to do more than five days of training a week.  Thereafter as today I am back to training and trail hiking.  Yet yesterday I seemed to hit a wall.  I ended up talking to my friend and his wife which own this place here.  I talked to Lar outside as by supper time last night I was down.  I have been having nightmares or dreams where it’s to do with family and then I wake up.  I think I might be coming into an understanding of what I had gone through the last two years with family.  I think that is coupled with a respite which has gone into boredom.  Maybe not but it so easy to fall back into the grooves of what was before and I can really be my own worst enemy as I have always had this obligatory manner and then it was cast away and as I am heading back into Saskatoon tomorrow for a check up – I think that there is something to be said about too much self time.  After tomorrows trip, when I return I wish to rekindle how I have been feeling nearly all the time.  Rather good if I say so myself.  I am going to pick up some books from which to read.  Larry had suggested some things as it was rather obvious as to how I had too much to think about.  The day after tomorrow I am going to see if I can do some sort of community service here.  I shall keep up the morning routine that I have but even if for just three hours a day right now if I can be of some service with  some place here in town.  I may even embark on something with Larry just to place something more within my routine.

As for family, I have kept it rather silent for now.  I don’t wish to go back within that space where I was and that is harder said than done.  I don’t much enjoy this situation of being alone.  I do enjoy my own self time but as well I love to be amongst people.  It’s the weirdest thing to within this situation with family and it had its strain on me as I have literally made such good progress.  But now and then I do over think things when there is that time where you do have too much time on your hands.  Yet one weekend which went the wrong direction to a Monday which has been within the pace I had devised.  All said, life is not perfect but this too shall pass and I know that one person can not achieve anything by just themselves.  I thought I would mention as I have not been on much.  But I am keeping to my routine and I do look forward to my check up with my doctor and then maybe getting a book to read and enjoying the trip and forging ahead.

Patience is a virtue yet I have always thrived on doing things.  So all said there have been allot of things which  had been getting the best of me but I know that I have to practice what I say and learn for this period in time that it’s still a day by day thing with the fall out with my folks and myself.  Over the weekend I felt like a castaway.  But one can’t over think things.  I do feel much better but I do know that I am coming out of a funk over the weekend.  Over the weekend I kept asking myself why in the world did this happen within the family?  That’s a hard one for me.  Yet I have to learn to just let all that go and focus on a progressive agenda. I am sure that tomorrows trip into the city shall be a good pick me up. And then thereafter get on with things with some good advice from my doc.