A Hero

The last night while I was online with this blog I was writing to a friend's blog, I actually was going over 500 words easy. I had received some friends that were concerned that they had missed something regarding my father. So I thought I would write tonight on this man that along with my mother brought me and four others into this world. I have a half brother, brother, and sister. I am the youngest within my family. Yet for some reason my father has always entrusted many things with me.

He came from humble roots, his side of the family was Norwegian, he was as well the youngest of a family of 6, I guess back then most families where large. He never went beyond grade ten if my memory serves me correctly. At the at of 17 he went into the Air Force and was an Air Traffic Controller. Thereafter he went on with his life by way of the military. And he went up the ranks, for a what is known as a commissioned officer, he literally broke the barriers as he went on to the rank of a General. Not too many achieve that certainly even back then without a good education. We never lived on a base, thank god. And at a certain time the government here in Canada decided to place him into a civilian diplomatic placement. I literally never came to know as much as I do till I myself returned to Canada and most all within the service, especially those that take that oath will never dishonor this oath that they take. As a kid he literally taught me many things, there was always something that he wanted me to know as most probably he wished for either myself or my older brother to go into the forces as we had a entirely paid way in what is called, "Royal Roads". Blaine never wanted to go into the forces he just wanted at that time to be a journalist. When it came to me well that is another story. So he retired and brought all of us back into Canada. At this time I was 17, he went on to open his own company and a chain of Donut shops in the town where he and my mother first had met but then he decided to move to this city while I was attending university. Although he was retired, he came to be the commander of a federal security outfit. He ran all the western provinces in Canada. So the man literally was a great father, as well as tremendously well know in both Canada and the United States. For a Canadian being honored in the headquarters of the Air force in Bolder, Colorado six times - there isn't one to this date that has ever achieved that type of honor.

Within his retirement well it wasn't retirement as he never stopped working I had already gone back to New York and we would so often call on the phone I had an office in Rockefeller Center by way of the industry that I was in and I will never forget the first day sitting in my office and calling him and I told him where I was and he believed me, seemingly he always believed in what I was doing. He would never give me some big praise but I could here him on the other line and I just knew within our conversation he was as proud as can be. There was never a time where when I called him he would say he was busy. We just wished to share things. We actually were much alike yet I do take after my mothers side but so I am told with many that I don't look like him but I in my own way am much like him. I guess that was all in the manner of how I was groomed. He was a good father.

Thereafter while I was in New York, I had a call from my mother asking if I would fly out back. I had already flown back two times. So I knew that something wasn't right. I left and when I arrived I was picked up by my one aunt. Then I knew something was wrong. So I arrived to there home, and here I found my father going on 250 lbs easy if not more. He was always a dapper man and was always in good shape. Never had any health problems, he did smoke but gave it up. And frankly, he was acting as if he was drunk. At this time I asked my mother if he had been drinking as I had never seen him act in such a bizarre manner. When I looked at his legs they were like huge. This is when I asked my mother why she hadn't called my brother. He was far closer, but I guess she knew that Blaine couldn't take somethings. Especially when it came to medical matters.

On the second day, I basically argued with him and got him in the car and I took him into emergency. At this time, he was literally wore out. Then I got the medication he was taking and here some physician had him on a medication called predisone for nearly two years. I called the emerg and I drove him right in. At that time they ran all tests on him and took him off predisone, then they ran CTScans on him as there was a huge mass on his back. At this time, I was really just in shock. I knew that there was something very wrong going on, but after his scans this one doctor told me that he has cancer and that he will be sending him over to the oncology department. I didn't know what the severity was as there are several kinds of cancer but the very next day there was a call from the head of Oncology. He was a terrific doctor and then at this time he asked for all the family to come in. So, I called everyone, and everyone showed up with the exception of an unknown half brother at that time. This oncologist took us into a room and started to talk. Sooner than later with a very good bedside manner he said that my father was in an induced comma as they were getting the predisone out of his system. And the harshest words were that he has only two months to live at the best as he had three cancers. And was diagnosed as stage 4 non Hodgkin's. Everyone in the room just lost it. I really mean everyone and from my one aunt whom is now passed on to my mother, ironically my mother lost her first language of hungarian, but ironically she was balling and then went into praying in hungarian. I didn't break. I knew that there was something wrong. While all were within this room where they take families and tell the the news, the oncologist asked for me to come out and talk with him. His name was Tur, and Tur asked me why I didn't break down. I told him why as I knew there was something very wrong here and I knew that once cancer was mentioned that it could very well be his final days. So Tur appointed me as medical next of kin. He told me when he had decided to pull the plug for his own father and I knew the direction he was going and I told him that I would not make any decision without the consent of the family. So we agreed on that and I mentioned to him whom he was and we left it at that.

Two days later I was called at 7 in the morning and Tur said for me to come in as my father was coming out of his comma. By the time I arrived in my fathers private room he was awake. As well, he was back to being himself. Tur came in and asked if there was anything needed and then left to make his rounds. I pulled up a chair I had my carry case with me and my father said, "Jack I had the strangest dream". I told him that he was in an induced comma for two days. So gave it sometime and then I thought to myself how was I going to say something that I had too. So I said, "Dad, if you wanted to know the truth would you like to know the truth". My father replied,"son, I know very well were I am carry on". So I told him were things were at and I can say it's the hardest thing to do in telling your own that he has only a few weeks at best two months to live. Honestly, that is truly one of the hardest things I have ever done. After I did it I left him for a five minutes as I thought he needed some self time to take this all in. I did as well...

When I came back in, my father asked me to take out some paper and a pen. He began to give me names of people including phone numbers right off the top of his head. I wrote it all down and there were some numbers that until that day I didn't realize whom all he knew and as well we were setting up things with regards to several things. I think this is when I really came to understand how influential he was and I had a list that filled two pages easy. He asked me how my mother was doing, I told him that she is doing well. He asked if she knew and I told him that she did. Then he asked me that no matter what takes place from that day on that I promise him that I will take care of all her needs. I said I would - then he asked me if I could bring her up when she is alright.

I got called some people that are in the states, england, canada and then there was one that worked for him that I called. Then after taking care of all of this, I took that afternoon my mother up. My brother and sister wanted to see him immediately however my aunt was good at this time as she was handling that end of the situation yet she was devastated as well. While walking out to my car after meeting that morning, it was as day within spring somewhere around that time. I remember throwing my briefcase into the car and just sitting on the hood. I just sat there there. I was thinking of my wife at the time that was to being flying out, I was thinking about if my mother was going to have a breakdown, there was something I was grasping and any thing from which I could control. As there was always a solution to every problem. This wasn't the case. I must have been there just staring into the sky for at least an hour. So many things were going through my mind and then someone came up to me and asked me if I had a smoke. I won't go into that but in two words I basically told him to take a hike. Then it just dawn on me, accept. For some reason I just found this word and it came to mind. Then I thought of this term that I have used many times as it truly just came to me and it really got me through this ordeal, it was, "Acceptance is the key to the things you can't control". That seemingly worked for myself. I really kid you not. As this is truly no fable.

I got in my car and that afternoon after, I called my wife, I called a few friends of my own and then I took picked up my aunt and my mother and took them up and Margie, my aunt whom is my father's sister was good at handling things and she said go tend to the things you have to tend too. She was there and she had it planned out as to how she was going to help and allow my mother and father have there own time and then my brother and sister would have there own.  I had all things set up as far as what he had asked me to do. I called one general that lives in Florida which was my fathers best friend along with Ottawa and Washington. I think pretty much I was working on adrenaline. Then I knew that the main things had been done and the others could wait till the next day. At this time Tur within the evening indicated that there is a new trial chemo that is at the Mayo Clinic. He said that it's had worked on merely a few, most had died by way of going through the treatment. I walked out and everyone left my folks to discuss this all out and then they elected to go for it.

I had made my call back to my wife to giver here the good news and update here and I got some mans voice by mistake. Her mistake. So then I called this friend of mine Jim, and we went for a drink and thereafter we went and sat alongside of the river. Jim's father had died just one year before and he I literally bared all out to him at this time. He said that he was going to make a call to NY and she what was up. So that went a direction that she decided to have some fling with some guy and I just let that go for the time being. Both of us had made a promise when we were married. She really blew it and but then I just didn't jump to any conclusions. My father had a chance of life. That now became my mandate.

He spent six month within a room and went through something that the average person either finds it and can take it, and then some they just can't but I was pretty much living in the hospital and just going back and forth. There were relatives after his third treatment that came in to see him and would be walking out crying. I would sit down in the main lobby and watch them all take the elevator to go up and it for me as well became a six month ordeal.

Finally after his fifth or sixth chemo again if my memory serves me well. I had done something on the side. Although he now was out of the woods and he had beaten this or it had been reduced and rendered into a dormant state with all three cancers. I literally go on my computer and I had emails that I made a request to all so many that had been calling the house from so many places people I had never heard of before but they talked to me by phone and I made a request that they all send him a letter. I kid you not he had over 200 letters that are placed away within family storage. I knew that the calls with his old friends, people he worked for and served with - it was a huge understanding of whom my father was.

While my father was going through all of this or we all were going through all of this Jim had a son, and the utube of Greg - his son died of cancer. Kind of ironic and yeah sad very sad a father never faces his son's death it usually goes the other way. But that is what happened back then. I there are some things during all of this where my father had visits and I was sitting there in the room listening or he was telling me stories that was really breaking the oath that he took but I won't mention them here. All that I will say is that some very influential people in Canada and United States either had made a call, coupled with some stories that I would never repeat.

From what I learned regarding my father had me respecting him more than I can say. I can't believe that there are these people that literally do things without the recognition. There are many of them out there whom ensure the peace or try to do there best in maintaining peace. Secondly, my father beat the odds, when he got through with all this it took literally the life out of him for about another six months. But the man never died. Before his release, Tur had told me that he is lucky if he lives four to five years as the cancer as well as the harsh trail chemo had such an impact on his immune system that at best he would live for five years.

It's nearly a decade now, and he is well and alive and just today (yesterday now) I took him out to the mall. He enjoys people, he is not ashamed yet knows he has digressed. He has been taken off of his "small chemo" that he would receive two months ago. And yet he is all in good terms with hit all.

 

So our family, has set up something here within a number company and within good time there will be something built in affiliation with the Oncology Building here. When that comes to be is when this man whom is my father decides.

The other night there were many several people that pmed me thinking that they had missed something and that my father may have passed on. No he is alive and well and literally he is a hero. I have no problems in stating that as he most certainly is. Who would have thought that a kid from a small town would have lived the life he has, and he still is.

There are no merits within this, it's the real truth and it's real late and above is a picture of him while he was waiting for me and sure I asked him to give me a peace sign. So when you think that you don't have it in you, or you think that your better than another. I have no qualms in saying that humbleness is a virtue. As well, with what I had happen recently is nothing. He has aged, but to hear him talk and still have the wit that he has. He is a great man and that pretty much is why I and many do see him as a hero with Cancer and as well those that he has known within his life time. And he could very well live for a couple more years. The main thing is he loves just to get out.

Good night and Good day.