The weekend is here I loved to just take those excursions out and it's been sometime since I really went out and enjoyed things there were a few things I had the intention of doing was contributing with to this group called picture perfect. And then as well, I have been to bed rather early here in comparison to many. There is a good reason for much of this as and I usually will just hit on the television and watch and movie. As there is no doubting that there I left a situation where it did not work out and then I returned into realizing how the health of my folks are.
Today, I knew that I had to see my father and well you know and here again I see how he is slowly deteriorating. I guess I might as well come out and say it as no one really knows what that places a family through. I guess that is my secret but I find right now that the best thing is to just keep occupied. I one to partake and as well participate and I know we all go through those things but it's something.
One can't do a thing but I am out of the loop again as far as his health and well it can be draining and it can absorb much of your time but I remember this one person coming up to me and saying that "you have to take care of yourself as well". It's easier said than done what I find is that I just love to write during this period as there is another adaptation.
I guess this breaches all the thoughts of the creative things and I really don't wish to I love to write. A father and son. In some manners there is a great bond between this man and myself. And I am not really sure what to say when I write on some of the personal matters. Yet since his first diagnosis some nearly ten years now with having stage 4 non Hodgkin's, coupled with 38 percent renal function - it's been something that I find that the folks have declined more. So upon returning here, it's been an again a repeat of an eye opener as he is not a well man. You wish you could do something but really all you can do is accept and do the utmost and keep your head on straight. I am not down I guess I am reflective. I have not been writing too much as there has been many things going on here. So I just handle it as best as one can as that is all one can do. I really have not known where I have been going with this blog for a while as the phone rings and so on and the best thing is just in calling a few friends now and then and then there is that time to be silent.
Sometimes I feel the the rest of my family are so out of the loop on my fathers condition. Yet what do you do? You just leave it be.
Yet within it all literally the sun does shine al thought it's hard to focus on things withing multiply. I thought I would post this and I feel good in doing so, I ventured out to Montreal, it did not work out, I have on going situations within family and well I am just one person and I do smile and it's good to stay occupied.
Where is all of this going to lead with my father. I have no idea. All that I know is that the last week it's been a situation for the least.
Secondly I don't believe in gossip, I know that it happens I remember Anns post and there are great people on here. Certainly there is a difference between men and women and we all have our own groups that we conference in. Yet again it's a Saturday here and I am just one ordinary person enjoying this and guess what it's the last and finally day of July.
One holds there head up and there chin up and when there are those challenges you just find what ever gets you through. For me it's within keeping busy. Even on the weekend. As I guess when it comes to some areas I am a rather sensitive person, but I am merely a human being.
Anyhow the weather this morning was tremendously nice. So one renders the best within any given time. As there is no choice but to do so. (I shall write again and I certainly am not and arrogant one. Some will pass by, some will write and some will gossip. Yet I enjoy the authenticity of self expression.
It's not that easy writing this to be honest. It's been a heavy ride to say the least since Montreal, however I am not down and out. I just find that at times I have missed the boat on many things within my life over the last few years.
Yet there are many more to come. I find that there is one thing within life goals, inspiration and being only whom and what I can be. As I am sure and certain that all of you can. So that is the story forks as honest and as hard as it is to write this. I have been here so many times yet I shall forge on and I do hope that the outcome with the man in which some of you might now from my previous writes - you would know this has been an ongoing situation for some time.
I am just me...my choice is to be happy and weave through this. As everyone does.
Saturday and i am too will visit my folks ... please send my hugs to your father as well as to your mom. And yep, a good weekend to you ... be happy as we are just but a traveller. tight hugs :)
ReplyDeleteI thought I would write it and I am not down I know that there merits of these words are within honesty. So you just go with the flow and keep you chin up.
ReplyDeleteMind you it's not my usual manner of writing but so be it.
The not down or otherwise, it's an outlet.
Oh, Jack, I am SO sorry to hear about your dad's cancer. My heart goes out to you more than you know. Please know that you are not alone in this. As your friend, I am here for you whenever you need me to be, as I'm sure many of your other friends are, as well. We are all here for you, Jack. That's what friends are for. We care about you.
ReplyDeleteI hope something here on Multiply hasn't upset you, Jack, as you certainly have enough to cope with right now.
Ongoing prayers for your dad, and a hug for you, my friend.
This has been an ongoing thing and literally it's something that I just accept it's been a time where I find that we I do occupy myself this has been the case for some time yet you just go along with it Maryann. His cancer is what brought me back from NYC years ago and well seems that everytime I travel and leave and come back there is some reason within it. But I do keep my chin up. Thanks much and there is a picture of him on my blog but hey I look for things to write about and to read with others and if there is a means there always is a way.
ReplyDeleteSo it all goes...I wish to write tonight and I know there that there will always be that certain element with some but you can't please all.
Literally I am just getting into the groove of things and wish to write. So I said what I wished to say.
Thanks much Maryann and that is the reason I have not been posting as much over this last little while.
Jack, thank you for sharing this with us. I know it must be so hard for you to talk about your dad's illness. Indeed, one of the most painful things in life is to see a loved one suffer, and to face the heartache of knowing that there is nothing we can do to change it. All you can do is to love your dad, and be there for him in whichever way you can.
ReplyDeleteIf you cannot, or don't feel up to writing, we understand, Jack. Although we can't be there with you, you are in our hearts, thoughts and prayers.
There are many people that have went through this and I never am one to thrive on things I just find that today was the right moment. Some during times like this will get angry and so on. I don't do that. Certainly there have been times where I will come back to this and I place aside those things and sometimes it's there but when I arrived home this afternoon I felt it was important. I am not alone I have some good friends here that I do call and there is nothing one can do.
ReplyDeleteBut that is that and what I do is just go outdoors and just look into the sky and will let it go.
I love to write and there are some that have become so interconnected by way of my blog, it's amazing to see how so do act. Yet as I have said before if I had only 5 friends on here that would be fine with me. I actually feel good that I wrote this and got it of my chest. I am not the "art of marketing", I write. I just write and enjoy it and well it's really as simple as that but there isn’t much fiction. But if there is one thing I despise are the postures. So it's all fine. This too shall pass...it's in how you handle it...
I am good and that is that. I shall leave it at "Acceptance is the key".
A post truly written from your heart. More than words alone they are filled with feeling. I'm glad you were able to share them my caring thoughts and prayers are with you. If writing helps, write. If you need a break from writing true friends understand and will be here Hugs
ReplyDeleteI don't sit here and you know ironically I am glad that I have wrote it Cheryl.
ReplyDeleteGood night and all the best to you and your family as always.
This was not about self pity....it was in clarity as there most all on my blog that I have never spoken with...
ReplyDeleteThey really don't know me. But again this was for clarity and with honesty.
we give our pain to the wind amigo---it is carried and sometimes it is shared and understood---but the wind returns without the pain and we understand that we are not alone although at times lonely--feel your emotions but do not fear them for they are healing----be honest with yourself ----what you wish to share--share---in life-in illness-in family and in our own confusion there can be no judgment for it is a common condition shared by all
ReplyDeleteI know this is a very hard time. I lost my father 10 years ago, and took a lot of my time spending time with him. It was exhausting. But I am so happy I did!
ReplyDeleteHey Jan, yeah I was within Montreal the last time that we did a message to each other and it is but I slept in and am having a coffee here and it is and sometimes you wish that all would pass on with a fast heart attack within the night where they didnt feel anything but that all said - this is the reason that I have not been on as much but I think today I am merely going to take it easy.
ReplyDeleteIt's not in the loss it's within the duration of time that this all has taken. Yet I enjoy things but I never expected this summer to be this way. My doc says I am not depressed but just stressed out as well worn out with one thing to another yet I do believe each day is a new day and you my friend have a friend where you know how some on here can be. There are those that this just does not go over with so well. But this is not that and I am just going to grab another coffee.
Thanks Jan...A good morning from over here and thanks very much.
i hope that you take some more photos soon.on your weekend ventures!.your pics are always interesting[hugs]
ReplyDeleteOk honestly, my legs are not working all that well. And we shall see how it goes I would love to take some more however I either have rhematoid arthritis within my knees believe it or not or there is a need for that spongy film that is embetween the knee joints. So I have my own things from which to deal with yet we shall see how it goes. Monday is a holiday here as in every province with the exception of Quebec and Ontario each province (like a state) has Monday off and it's called "Family Day". So I have a few things to get done but I think today is going to be my own lazy day. Is there such a thing as being lazy? :)
ReplyDeleteHi Jack..I know it is not easy watching someone you love slip away from you....(prayers are with you) and everyone needs a lazy day so enjoy it...:)
ReplyDelete. well thats good.a "Family ..Day what an excellent idea.:)..enjoy it..[hugs]]
ReplyDeleteWell it's not yet unbelieveably my brother has a arrived in town. Unbelieveable that he would after three years of never coming home. I have been out and met up with a two friends and it's a lazy day I will have to go and watch over my father while the others all go out but thats fine with me.
ReplyDeleteI intended it to be one lazy day however there is a large denial within my family. I knew this for such a long time but it's ok with me as I do the best in getting things done within my own manner. Yet it's a nice day however the camera is closed for the say so be it as here in these parts of Canada it's called Family day and we honour it.
This will not stop what I am doing and I follow my own path.
I met up with a very good friend of mine and it's been enjoyable. And then called to meet with family and there was my brother and his wife. So I thought I would get in here and make a post as here in this part of Canada a few years back there was this idea of family day. It's a good one and a great idea.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know about this day. I am glad your brother came, even if all is not as you would wish.
ReplyDeleteThank you DJ, and this day today is what we call "Family Day", I am not sure when they came up with it but it's good that he is here and leaving after noon and perhaps he will have a different nature and have a good chat with him. Thanks much there....
ReplyDelete