A Return of the White S

Stuff that is.  Overnight it was predicted that we would have some moisture as well as a possibility of some snow showers.  In the morning it was obvious that nearly half a foot came and is still going on.  I placed all my winter stuff away but you can never control Mother Nature.

I have been avoidant of writing – since last week, as some may know I have been very successful in doing something medically yet since last week I have been burned out.  My hopes were that I would be right on the mark with my agenda.  Right now, I am just coasting.  Yet my appointment with my doctor last week indicated a loss of ten pounds.  To couple that I had met with the folks to see how things are.  The friend of mine whom I met here was with me on two occasions and he could see the change of personalities with my father.  Yet so quickly, he changes and is very harsh in any conversation with myself.  I think this is why we hit it off so well and his wife is right up there as well but back to my story.

After last week, it really took the energy out of me.  I have wanted to get back into my jogging which as I have come to a halt with it for the last week.  I found last week I was having a good nights sleep but I have been having flashbacks pertaining the times, which I had left New York and all that took place with cancer.  Yet he believes I shall get through this period as well as my doctor a large portion of it.  Both know that I am doing my best with all factors taken into consideration.  He indicated how his father was in the Air Force as a mechanic, he would be involved with everyone else but when it came to him or his brothers – his father didn’t really have much to do with them.  I listened and Lyall told me that he understands full well  however he and his wife firmly believe that I am very intelligent and that I am my own worst enemy right now as I have been played out.  I have not been doing that much as things have been adding up.  My last appointment is on the 30^th with my left side of my teeth.

I do not like to write on these areas but you have no idea of what it is like to entirely be out casted.  I have literally been doing the best.  Sometimes I ponder where the future lies within all of this, as it has been very isolated yet today I was prepared to get back to running – yet it is not within the game.  It has been a sad state of affairs and there have been some real major stressors but I do carry on.  Yet I have always thrived on goals. I have to relinquish them and I thought I would let those friends of mine know, as I believe in authenticity.

For those whom don’t know what I have been doing it is on my blog but I posted most of these writes to contacts only.