A Reflection

It's within my to apologogize...maybe it's a characteristic that I do, and at the same time some may have gotten to know others by way of chatting. I have been doing tremendous the last while with. I think that most of you know that I was. I never thought I would write or need to "back up" something I have said within my family.

I literally use this as an excusion and I enjoy it as well as what others write. I have - I really have. But at the same time, I think that most of all is one that focuses on oneself. Let me just for a moment tell you a story - a true one in which a friend of mine whom was a former SWAT Team Negotiator and by the name of Heather. Heather did a great job and at the time when I went to see them both Heather's first mention was that she sees people like this each and every day and what do my folks wish? There was a story up here in Canada of a girl that spent nearly half her life moving and moving as there was a similiar situation to my own. When I talked to Heather and my old friend Gary of all that had gone on they were in all that I could deal with it all. I really don't know where to go with this one but all I can say is that after tomorrow I shall gain back my momentum and within the next two months I do have to start making some plans. Those that are famliar with this illness and any professional knows the traits and all that can come with the illness.

(I know I am trying to move this on as I wish too).

Let just say this - I have come a long ways since I was hospitalized and they said I wouldnt be able to do things. I have a team of doctors, one of which is a neuro pychiatry and truly is great and yesterdays date he mentioned that he would love to see me on with it in two months and I could not agree with him more. I am not running away from anything however I aside of the weather I do have to make some changes within my life and those around me. And That is really the best way I can say it.

With those that came forward and you could see within their write that they had witnessed and knew of this sickness - I really applaud you as it's taken up a good part the last ten years. But I don't think nor dwell on it - but now and then it will show and rise and there is not one thing you can do except meet with the professionals. So I had like I had before and now what is best for me - take it easy - distance myself - look at the positive options and not make fast ones. And follow my doctors orders. I guess the reflection here is that I am not a perfect person but I have done the decent things. What I have done and what I WILL do is something that still within this age I can look back at and smile with what I have accomplished as I am and I shall.  I don't have Schizphrenia I do have a mild case of ADD and as of yesterday there was some thoughts as to if 60% of all of this is situational.

Certainly on here sometimes I can be a bit....well I can sometimes take a nab at someone as I know what there aim is or the intention but are there times that I am reading something that literally I am laughing more than on would know - yes.

Yet when all of this happened so unexpectedly as I had talked with my sisters pychiatrist, I know I had done this back before and now I am not much for doing all of this for family. Call me selfish call me what you want - but within the last two weeks without a mention I was working on all cylinders in many ways so within blogging I do wish to get off the subject (most might be asking - why is he writing again then?)

The reason is that I do enjoy your writes even when there are differences. But most of all I was falling into the same situation that caused me to nearly have a mini stroke in the beginning of November so everything does have a meaning.

So if you wish to read this and I can assure you that things are fine and actually on here I would love to have a little fun as we have some harsh weather and I am not going to take my legs backwards when I have just embarked within a gym...So I am not down and out but I was very embarrassed.

Sincerely with the best of Regards,

 

Jack