Since I was a kid my father took pride in me. I was the youngest in the family and the third to be with the name I have. I thought I would come back to this as I think that many see this as a sad story but it's the contrary. as the picture about is one that was taken when I made a winter visit from NYC.
He was a man that after retiring went into another area for 15 years and I wish he had got on the computer and write. Back in those times, computers were only used with work and we don’t have what we had for today.
I mentioned what stage my father is at and I am at peace with that. I had not seen him in some time but right now with what I have learned with regards to his health is something
that I dealt with at the first time he was hit with cancer and had a few years to go. And aside from the cancer, I talked to him as I talked with him the weekend before last when I
made that trip to Saskatoon. And it's all good. I am not saying that for the sake of saying, I really mean that.
I am sure that you can see that he is not the same person now as he was then. Back in those days prior to what was to happen later on, I recall he had a something go wrong with his eye and he was in the hospital for one day. I was in a different city with my work and the family was so alarmed and then the doctor came out and from what I was told is that he had the heart of a 45 year old and was in very good health. Apparently something had gone into the back of his eye, and that was taking care of. And all was fine.
He never thought too much with regards to his health, as he was one that was very healthy and enjoying his life of retirement. I wish he had written a book. I really do, but the man read and read. Much like my grandfather that I never knew but was named after apparently were avid readers. The national geographic was always on his bookshelf along with other books, such as Andy Cap and stories of the military and old english books on various subjects.
He didn’t have a fancy for other areas of the military as his area was within the scope of the Air Force. He had no hate for them but that was the area that he could relate to and had experience and experienced in. Within the North American Air Defense that protects the North Pole to the South Pole he was the awarded the highest achievement in Boulder, Colorado six consecutive years. I don't know any man or women to this day in either country that has achieved that. But he was not a man of hate he was a diplomat. He started out as an ordinary commissioned officer and then went onto diplomatic status.
As a child I remember riding on the back in back of him on a lawn mower while living in the States and he was always telling me stories that I think that he knew that I would understand at a later age. I did.
Ironically he did the same during his first hit with three cancers and given two weeks to live. That is talk and open up with some areas that he felt that I needed to know. And as well the life he lived.
The oncologist that took a special liking to him, while at the same time I was told while he was in a comma that I would be his medical next of kin - as the oncologist by the name of Tur Al-Twegerie (Doctor and great friend) was a tremendous man and saw that I was holding up while when the family was taken into a room and told the situation all broke apart. To think that at such a young age and good health - Dad was about to die then. I knew it, but when the chance came that by importing test chemo from the Mayo Clinic in Minneapolis might kill him or may work. This is where I knew that regardless of any person support and something of a surprise would bring about the motivation to fight what he was fighting and as well keep his mind off it. Amazingly, I achieved that goal. Colleagues of his from the United States, England and Canada called him when the time was right to his bedside telephone as well as over 100 "snail mails" of encouragement from people that knew him during different times of his life in the Air Force, but they remembered him and he was amazed and kept them all to this very day. What was amazing to me was the amount of people that he knew.
As before, I had never known this. Two generals from Florida that were retired called him every day. One from Canada that worked along side him in the United States flew out. And even then, "Blacky" as he is known by his real life nickname, told me stories about my father that I had never know. Ironic how a man is humble and keeps not a secret but an oath or something of that nature. I remember one thing when my father woke up from that induced comma. He woke up saying "Jack I have had the strangest dream". I was called in when he came out of the comma and was the one to tell him that he had two weeks to live, now I don't know how many people have been in that place. But when my father
Came to he right away said to me, "Son I know this is not good so tell me the news.” I then said to him, " Dad if you had the chance to know, would you wish to know." He said he is full aware where things may stand, but I don’t think he was prepared. So I told him and then without any reserve he asked me to get out a pen and paper. I was rather surprised as so fast he gave me a list of things that were necessary and needed to be done. After that the doctor came in, looked at me and looked at him and said he would come back in 10 minutes. Then within a private room in the hospital he asked me one thing to do. He asked that I promise it. I said certainly that I would. He asked that if regardless of what the outcome is, from this day on that I take care of all matters and what comes first is his wife, my mother. And we shook hands on that. As time went on he had six chemos, and he made it. But the oncologist indicated to me that his father had the same thing and that if my father lives for 4 years it will be really fortunate. So all in all, my father has went through reoccurrences of cancer, strokes, near death times. Where I left the hospital at 6am while doctors in emergencies told me the news, and often I thought that this is vain that a man has to go through so much and not be able to travel.
However, right now he is going out on his walker along with my mother and living life without thinking about death.
One thing does strike me as when I was a child, I asked my father if he believed in God. My mother raised us all as moderate Catholics and he was from the united Anglican faith. His answer to me was that "Son, I am not certain there is a god, but what I do believe is that if you treat your fellow man with worth - perhaps that God that is up there will deem it fit if he exists. Of course at the time I was a child. But I think he really had and has something there to what he had said that I never forgot with regards to religion.
Now, my father keeps a bible right at his bedside. I have a cousin that is a counselor, that he has often asked questions related to god and death. She loved talking to him and new how to talk to him on his terms and I think that there is a harmony there.
So many things as a child come to mind as I recall one that stands out is when he told me to never judge a person by the color.
During the times of the sixties he had parties that were very controversial at the time as he had friends that were Black. I forget their names but as a kid I was always the one that was dressed up and opening the door for the entire guest that arrived. Yet that all being said he was a simple man, perhaps a better word for it would be humble, yet as sharp as they come. He never missed a thing and still to this day doesn’t. This picture here in particular I have and I had while I was living in New York and all the neighbors - especially some of the older ladies would always ask me when is he coming to visit. I guess he had something going on there. But to listen to him talk and the manner was what turned people on.
He never was one that took over a party, or claimed to be the best. He was one that so many came to enjoy him merely because of his mannerisms.
I am sure that our parents have all had some impact on whom we are. Mine did, yet we were a tad different but he would always be calling me while from his office to mine. The previous picture that is on my blog is one that is where he had his own office. He loved it in his retirement as so many people from so many places passed through. And while he would go early in the morning to do his things while retired, he would meet people and enjoy it so much.
I have had the chance to see my father again. And I certainly shall again as the last trip was too long. But in comparison to one year ago, I feel as if this is the time that in many ways might have been better that it took place during the first impact of cancer. Then again my father is alongside my mother, and is happy living out the remainder of his life.
Ending this story, while I was visiting the other week for the first time in eight months, we talked about one thing in particular. Global warming. I have all my pictures and some of which are from him back at that time, but perhaps a book may be the way to go some time down the road. One very interesting thing during this last visit that I wrote about a few days ago is how we were talking about how things in life and on our planet things have always moved in cycles. I did not think he would take to what I mentioned, and amazing to me he looked at me and asked me what I meant.
I explained myself then he said with a smile, "Did you know when I was 24yrs of age stationed up in Resolute Bay (an Air Force radar site at the time), I literally pulled palm leaves out of the snow. What he was getting at was that at some time there was land before and that there was obviously a time that Palm Trees existed. Very interesting to say the least. We were both speaking on the same thoughts and he had experienced it while I had not seen it. But I think that all does come with age.
