Those imaginary lines we all draw for ourselves that we feel should not be breached physically or emotionally. Usually we assume many things in life. In and ideal world we never should need to have boundaries. Usually they are created for a reason based with some reasonableness. But yet we do wish to be entitled to respect, privacy, decency, kindness, honesty, love, and many other areas that make up what we feel we are entitled. Once in a while I find that just doing things that slowly verifies and vindicates what we may not know. But some boundaries in life are good as it allows one to continue with their own path. Then again, how many people are missing out on the real picture of the persona of whom other people are. We all find meaning by means of relating to others. Today I met one new friend of a friend. I had not met before. I was not sure whom that person was but when meeting - it was obvious that there was a very wholesome, kind person. Now if I had kept up boundaries - as some are shy and often this is mistaken for other things - I would not have uncovered whom that person was. And in the discovery, I knew the person was one of a good nature, but I had not met in person. For one that smiles and enjoys many things - it was obvious to me that there was a worth.
Coming back to drawing lines - I feel that lines are so often mistakes. We assume many things, as life does get complicated - yet we can change that in a minute - when we open the doors and allow things to unfold. In life we all want to blend in, we all have acknowledgement in who we are and what we belong to. How do we belong, I think that we belong in a means of self respect, acknowledging what we are, and as well understanding that we have many new things within our sphere of life.
Two examples here - I spoke to one person (not online) that was very reserve - I could assume that they were arrogant or maybe just shy. OR they had their own lines drawn around them for what ever that may be. On the other hand, I had a call with a person this evening that was totally open minded, and interesting. What is the difference between the two scenarios? I am not sure. I don't even think much regarding it as I have no lines, but I just flow within life. Mind you not with a blank face, but one with a regard to others - but first and foremost a regard to my own self.
Perhaps life is more like a river that flows in several directions in a manner that creates and takes in several areas of life as it winds it's way within the stream.
Sweetie, I don't draw lines...I build brick walls. sigh.
ReplyDeleteG’day Jack,
ReplyDeleteI am not too sure what you mean by drawn lines, some never give the impression there are lines, it can be very easy to put the other person at ease, while keeping the inner self well & truly behind as “mstetons” says a brick wall. Mostly it is more like bullet proof one-way mirror that can be seen through but not escape from, while being aware of what is happening and knowing they are the ones missing out on some wonderful experiences, When did the building start, what made it necessary, there is no chance of that coming down until they can delve into the black hole & face whatever it was, and deal with it until it becomes non threatening. This is not something one can do at the drop of a hat, there is no book mark showing them when the transgression started (unless it was one dramatic event) it becomes a part of the person, continually growing like a finger nail that can be trimmed back every now and again, but to dig it out by the roots can be a very painful task undertaken by only a few who are aware of what they are doing to themselves. It is a form of self protection that I would think could be rather isolating in many ways. Just my thoughts on a common problem.
Over the years I have built up walls around me from being hurt. Slowly but surely they are coming down as I get more confidant in myself and this is a good thing. I enjoy making new friendships and don't want to loose the part of myself that enjoys life. When we allow this to be in our lives it takes a long time be us again..and I'm just starting to find myself again...and it feels wonderful. great blog Jack beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteWhat if a line is a circle ?
ReplyDeleteThank you Toni, I find that is true and I know for sure regarding allowances. As there have been times I can honestly say I was lost.
ReplyDeleteThanks and so are yours - especially breakfast reciepies. :>
We all do, and we tend to what is within those walls which is our own garden of sort in which we defend our physical & emotional garden.
ReplyDelete(meaning your not the only one). Good morning.
We all have tendencies to draw lines, Jack .. they are meant to explain who we are, how we believe, and what we think ... most lines are just fences with a gate- they allow us the safety and security of allowing others to know us and appreciate us for the unique individual we are ... the opposite is true, too, Hon .... by investing in others, it allows us to grow in various ways ... of course there are lines that are non-negotiable such as morals and faith, but otherwise we reap more blessings than we sow when we allow others to see who we really are ... It's funny, Jack ... I, too, had a wonderful chat with a person I didn't know last night ... only by opening myself up and sharing thoughts with my new friend could I hope to have a glimpse into their mind and heart ... you know something, my friend? I've never made a bad investment yet ... *smiling* Have a good day, Jack ... you did an exceptional job with this blog ...
ReplyDeleteP.S. I could really get deep into this subject since reading a few replies, but I'll have to save it for later. It's time for me to go to work now ...
I see it as an open canvass - this blog was completely closed off until I thought with those that I have known by way of writings that it would be nice to meet back up with them at some point in time. And I see this as a canvas from which everyone can write on. I feel that we all have different ideas that we can all share from all parts of the world - in a manner that is with some regard. Often I have used the words - "why not".
ReplyDeleteWhy not - build a better world where we don't just think and internalize our thoughts and writings - why not hit on a few varied areas which allow for a mixture of different points of views. As we all do share a common thread, and yet we do have our own manner in which we do write with our own blog in our own self respect. Perhaps there are the same type of lines within multiply as there are in life.
I am not sure but I am certain we all do Cindy that it's not easy to act on what we write. But as Wendy has mentioned we never give certain impressions, yet within our own self we are human and when we can co create in a manner where the walls come down - we may just gain something from each other. Why not?
I love that thought...my own physical and emotional garden. I think it needs some weeding, though.
ReplyDeletei rarely tend to draw lines
ReplyDeletei sometimes regret it
but only with a few
most people have plenty of luv and affection to share
making it all worth while
G'day Jack,
ReplyDeleteThe steel band around a wine cast is a circle, without it a keg crumbles
All day today I've been thinking about those lines ... in one respect the lines are no different from the brick walls, Jack ... they do keep others from crossing over into our life; yet, they also imprison us within our own boundaries ... I cross-stitched a picture many years ago that had a favorite saying on it: Love isn't love until you give it away ... *sigh* ... it's all about taking chances, Jack ... most people desire other people in their lives and are willing to take the chance at opening themselves up ... it's a risk, Hon, but isn't everything? One can endure life or one can enjoy life ... For now, it's time to run back to work again ... Have a wonderful afternoon ...
ReplyDeleteRobert Frost wrote " Something there is that doesn't love a wall." Sometimes we do put up protective fences more than we ought. Then we miss out in the doing of it. Good post , jack!
ReplyDeleteI see boundaries are arousing interest, thus creating many reactions. I guess it is because we live within and around them everywhere and at each moment. It is also so true that we often cannot know someone unless we allow them in, and take the time to see what is beyond the obvious, obvious yet often not the reality of a person, often times a protection. So much to learn from each other, so much to discover about others. Yet, we live with people and it is only after many years that we discover an aspect of them that we had no idea existed. All that said, the picture is interesting, suggesting the flow of a river, and yet, no water to flow, just the space where it could wander if only it would find its way.
ReplyDeleteSusan I never heard of that one by Frost but it's true with regards to the manner or how we miss out pending on how we maintain that imaginary wall.
ReplyDeleteYes!
ReplyDeleteThis is a quote Wendy.
ReplyDeleteDanielle - look at this it could be anyones blog and it's a collabororation of many different vantages. This is what amazes me. I wish a good friend a few good friends would make a comment but I just leave it be and it seems as it's a once in a while participation. Bareheart, and a few other come to mind - as we all share in a manner and as well even on the internet sometime we do draw a line ..................................................................yes or no?
ReplyDeleteI tend to have a rather large "personal space" which I think is pretty much what you mean by "lines drawn around oneself". In part, it's due to shyness. In part, I prefer to feel I know a person before allowing them too close. I tend to like most people and am a people person. I have known many people and honestly liked them who never were hmmm welcome? inside my personal space. Others, however, I am comfortable with having within my personal space in a very short amount of time. Not really sure what makes the difference. I tend to be very sensitive to other peoples lines of personal space but have met many who seemed not to have those lines or even be aware that others do. Very interesting subject, Jack.
ReplyDelete