I Thought It was High time I did Mention...

Within this time and within the right now. Where we are seated as we move within the new year. I have found many things within my own self, I have found many things within other but the one main thing that I have come to find is within self. We all do have resolutions that we make. I made mine a while back as I came to understand more of my own self. I don't thrive within the negative I certainly thrive within the aspects of life that are productive.  I placed this thought of, "Forever is comprised of the Nows", really it's all within the moment. Yet we all do reflect, we have those areas in which are those in which I find that I value and there are areas in which I place within this area in which we call - NOW.

To some extent one can come to waiver from a path in which they believe in. Yet I render that in which I find is a worthwhile effort. Since the time I was within a hospital I have come to find that there are good things as well as there are areas in which one does not need. There are areas in which you will have success and failure and as often as I have mentioned - there is success within failures as you keep trying. However when there is an area in which you come to realize for the first time within your entire life - it's worthy. I have not shared but it's a very true one and I wish I would have had this diagnosis a long time ago. I think that so often the ego does get involved but I let go of it all. I guess you could say I am within a change. Yet whom isn't within a change.

To those good friends that are out there they shall understand. And some wont. But the merits of what I have always wrote within here is that of authenticity. Since back in November I came to understand there after that I have throughout my life had a disposition called - ADDHD. By way of a great practitioner and after the 8 meetings, neurologically I have had a disposition to what is a form of attention deficit disorder. I don't feel ashamed at all as this has been something that for the longest I have been trying to get some diagnosis. It's something that most are diagnosed at a young age but I never was, yet I functioned very well. Mind you over the last three years there have been somethings in which didn't seem quiet right. So...

Along with many other areas that came of recent, I don't feel I am a victim to something that so many do have - but to understand it now by way of all the testings I have been through - really is a break through. Basically, I am on a great medication and in no manner does it change one personality - alter it or otherwise. So here for especially these last year, I have had some troubles with reading and as well within my writes.

So you will see that there are times that I do have a hard time in bringing things all together - but this has not been the first time. It's been something that I have had for years. And to be very honest I am very glad that I finally have a diagnosis from a very different yet tremendously well educated doctor. Within all the aspect of whom I am is no different it's just a matter of working along with this. Besides what is normal anyways?

We are approaching the new year and ironically I have kept this to myself with the exception of some very good friends along with my brother. The manner in which it was explained to me one month ago - is that my brain has a hard time in keeping up with my mind. With the aid of a medication, there are several ways in which one can work around this. More people that you know do have this and often it's not realized for years. As I mentioned before I am truly glad of how things worked out after coming out of the hospital - as there were many different professionals that came into place. One of which really has been pinnacle within all of this. I understand my past, I understand where there were obstacles within my life and I am one that thrives in doing, it's part of my personality yet it's part of the manner that my brain works.

I called five friends over this last week as well as speaking with my brother. Ironically, within all of this said, most all responded within our conversation that - everyone has a little bit of something, coupled with some that upon calling them understood very well. So I thought before the this new year that we have that I would state something that I have known now for the last month. There is nothing different with me other that I am just that type of person that thrives in getting things done and certainly there is areas on the net that make it more understandable. So I am whom I am and within my friends I thought I would share this and it's not something that is new. It's been there with me since I was born.

I am not on Ritalin - I am on one mild medication and today I had a great meet with this doctor, which came as a change and it's great to be able to state this as I don't find it as a absolute. I find it as something that is part and parcel of how my own personality is. I have thrived within so many areas and to stop is the wrong thing especially for me. If I have what we term as an attention deficit that I have worked with for years and now am working with it. I am not disabled by any means - what I am is whom I am. I have no delusions, no depression, sometimes it's hard to read very long writes as I am doing here. BUT...

I am myself and one of authenticity. Besides if we all were so normal within this world we would be all exactly the same. So I guess I finally came out with it here and in no manner am I different. And to those most all would understand that. Now as far as the new year...............I do have mine this year I have had them since one month ago and have been placing them all into action.

I think Casanova had this yet mine is much more within a milder form.

 

And with that I say - So be it...

Keeping authentic,

Jack