We don't want to mix up the spelling and grammar........hold on I am cooking something in the skillet and will be right back.
Well, I have been grocery shopping and I thought that this one plate would be good for two days but I think it is only good for one. It has been cold her, I am not used to it, I not used to at this time of the year getting prepared for winter, but then on the other hand there are people "over there that are within a stage 3 right now with Katrina so I think that places things into perspective. Tomorrow will be a day and as well I think the entire weekend has been on of people getting together with those that they are married to and so on.
I was married a few years back she hailed from New York, but I know that that does not matter now as what is of worth today is what is. If that comes across clear. I find that this weekend I have thought much about my folks. As well, I have thought much with regards to a very good friend of mine. And I understand that in some way - I have not "missed the boat" but I think about this stuff and it's something that people do with their soul mate.
I read a few blogs and I really feel that my life is not totally complete. I don't thrive on doom and gloom. But the sensation of having a partner seems to me to be the avenue of creativeness. Even if it's a risk.
I rarely write personal things but I do believe that a soul mate is something that we are and will always with to have in life. This has been a time for me that I wish I had a mutual. I once did, she was from NY, but that was then and this is now.
This is a totally avante guard post. If you were single and coming close to your middle life, would you still take that chance? I know that a partner can be a great thing. But on the same time I am not sure how many are married (I am not looking for love online) - but would it be something worth it and where do you find it these days. Regardless of how much money or no money at hand? I wish I could cook but not I am very basic with my capabilities in doing food!
My own thoughts and within my contacts I do value your thoughts on this holiday weekend. I have to get back to making this food! 
The food is done but I am just an ordinary chap thinking of really what everyone's thoughts are in an authentic manner.
This is not in any way a look to "pick up women" off my blog. It's just my own thoughts on a day that I have thought much about this area of life.
ReplyDeleteIf music be the food of love ... keep frying!
ReplyDeleteI have had so much placed on me with family and here I see all these familes with families and children. Dismal, I feel that I am out of the scope. I talked to a friend yesterday and he is married and although he was much older than I he married by way of an online thing. That is not really for me. I have not tried and it's a big risk my friend, but it's something that I do think about with all that has happened within my life. Sometimes I feel I am my own worst enemy. Honestly said. Why do I reframe so much at this journey of my life I should be enjoying things with a partner.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe in should but I am saying it the way I feel, and that is real.
What did you cook a pasta stir fry..It looks yummy..What kind of seasoning did you use to add flavor?
ReplyDeleteLooks like you did a GREAT job!
yeah I went out earlier today and the stores were opened and I then went to the grocery store and I made this all up. But that is not the answer and I am really not looking to find someone on mulitply I just think that most of you really have some authentic thoughts. To add flavour/flavor I added olive oil it was pre packaged. but what do you really think. This is not about food. I am just saying it the way it is.
ReplyDeleteChoosing a partner? Let me say I met my hubby online through a friend and we got to know each other..and I didnt get married until I was 40 but I chose that..When I was ready, I was ready to settle down and be married for the rest of my life..I had goals and dreams and opinions on raising children and family life..My hubby and I were so much alike the priest told us he had never seen a couple so much alike on childrearing, family, business, etc..we had to do a marriage test or something..but he and the lady that helps with getting you married in the church both were so shock that we had the same morals and ideas...so I can say I found my soulmate for a lifetime..
ReplyDeleteBut some people it takes a long time to find that right one that is going to fill that spot.I wouldn't settle for just anyone. I wanted that "special someone" and I found him! I'm going to keep him! I knew after meeting each other and seeing each other he was the one and later he told me the same thing.
Jack, you will know in time who she is and if you want to spend your life with her or not.
That's fine if you dont the online dating or what but whoever you choose YOU will know whether she is your soulmate because your heart will let you know..
I was eery about the online thing but I had a friend in Oklahoma and she had met her hubby online and she had a chatroom and she invited me to come to it..being it was the first time I have ever been in one..and I went there..and from there I met my hubby and now as of today we have been married for 4 yrs..and I love it! But there are some horror stories about people you meet online too..but I knew he was sincere and he wanted to get to know someone for a possible relationship and I was too..so we talked and we finally met..God does things for a reason and I know He put my hubby in my life for a reason. And I was 40 years old, I had dated off and on..the longest relationship was 3yrs with this man and I thought I would marry him..but I realize after 3 years, I was not ready to settle down with him..because he had too much baggage with the ex wife and children, and I traveled alot with him because he was an entreprenaur(typo)..he did show me the best of everything but I knew I didnt want that in life...I knew what I wanted and I was not going to settle for less..I know God placed my hubby by my side..You just can't lose the faith and I had pateience..lots..
Cin so many people images are of the past.
ReplyDeleteNot saying that they are false but I have never thought of this till this morning when I woke up and asked my self "why is this so". That your not old and yet not young. I don't place that much in chatting as you know. But I am seeing even my cousin that is 50 years old - and she just got married. My friend from two years ago went the same route as you and is married. I am very conservative. But not ........it's hard to explain in text. But kudos to you that is a great story from which to take note of. I used to know a few people online but I had the philosophy that it's a risk. And at the same time I was taking care of two parents at the time - I am not complaining. I just feel that here I am. And I have had so many things take place that maybe I am out of the loop. I am not down about that but that is my thoughts and feelings of today.
I have things that are coming to me, but yet at the same time I really am not all that open minded online. Then again it is something that I think confuses each and everyone of us. I am not connected by way of a messenger to most all of the people that I know. But it's something that each night when I head off to bed I ponder on "why is it like this?". True thoughts but what a sensational story. Thank you.
Yet with other writes I find it very comfortable.
I realize that I was not getting any younger and I was ready and I mean ready to settle but I chose wisely..and you know you can beat yourself asking why is this like this? or what am I doing? And for the most part it is the way you take life in stride..the way you want your life to be..the way you want to live? That all goes back to CHOICE! Your choice of how you want things to be in your lifetime..
ReplyDeleteJack, also I think the way we are raised has alot to do with it..I must say my mother ran a strict household..My father died when I was 7 and my mother never remarried but she instill alot of family values and morals into me and my 4 brothers..and I do relate alot of my decisions, choices, opinions to what I was taught about life itself from my mother, 2 granmothers and etc..
I can understand your point perfectly but look at like this..Yes alot of things have been out of loop and you wish you could go back and change things but you cant..if you still feel like you are all looped up..do something about it! Dont get looped up to where you are asking yourself...Why do I need all this negativiy in my life..Ask yourself..
You need to write down on a piece of paper..what negaitve things have you had in your life now and in the past..
Then write down the positive things you have had in your life..and if the postive outweighs the negative..you know you are doing something right and should not have doubt..
But if the negative outweighs the positive..YES get out of that loop and the negativity and start working and making an effort to leave that negative side for good!
Dear Jack, nobody but you will feel that she is the one. Let your heart tell you and above all listen to what it has to say. Offline or online love when it wants to get to you finds its own ways to reach you may it be running into you in a grocery store or travelling through a web. We have to keep the faith that it is possible and when the moment is right, it simply is and you cease questioning yourself, and simply live it. May you be united with your soul mate and recognize each other. Your dinner seems yummy there...
ReplyDeleteI ate it an I am going upstairs to down stairs with this one. There is a value in what I am asking as most of us are carefree with this area. Where I hold certain people offline in my life and offline as precious people. Possiblility hmmm, that is something that give some thought. I swear as I am not just writing this for the sake of people being on my blog but it is a real question.
ReplyDeleteAh, friend, we are often our own worst enemy.
ReplyDeleteOne does look around and see many families, but sadly not many are truly happy. I believe it is better to be lonely than unhappily with someone. Also, it seems important to be whole and feel satisfied in oneself before seeking a partner.
But you pose the question, "Is it worth the risk?" It's taken me many years to come to the conclusion that it is. One tends to regret things not done more than mistakes made. So I would advise setting reservations aside and opening oneself to love.
As for finding a mate, meeting someone through shared pursuits is often good. That way, you both have something in common to enjoy. It's also far less pressure to meet people in the context of activities, particularly group types.
The pasta does look good. If you're interested in cooking ideas, I'm full of 'em (just ask Jan, though she's rarely found here).
May you find all that sought.
Great story, Cyn!
Agree with SP, as well.
Unconditional Love!
Being really comfortable with yourself, to me, is the first step in letting someone else in your life. As we gain experience, we figure out what is important to us in a friendship and what we can overlook. Some habits are totally unacceptable and we are not going to change the other person by loving them. We have to accept them as they are and they accept us as we are also. IF that happens, then there might be something to work on with that person to deepen the relationship. We have to like them as friends first or there is nothing to talk about once the sex gets old.
ReplyDeleteJack, I'm facing 47 years old in a few months ... and to me, it's only the beginning of a life ... I am alive and I want to live life, not endure it ... I've made mistakes and fell for the wrong people, but you know something? It really wasn't a mistake, especially since I came away with more wisdom than I started with ... In the end, I learned a lot about me and what I desired ... I can see you're lonely, Hon ... we are human beings and we desire to be loved and appreciated by a special someone ... you're no different, Jack ... successful, dynamic, creative people are not exempt though their lives shout fullness and satisfaction, Hon ... our hearts still beat loudly and long for the special person whose heart beats in unison with ours ... sometimes we have to be in a place where we finally hear that heartbeat and quit denying that we want to share a life with a soulmate ... you find yourself there this cold night, Jack, and bless your heart, I feel for you ... it's tough being alone and lonely ... *sigh* ... I empathize with you, my friend ...
ReplyDeleteMeeting people online isn't that threatening, Jack ... some of the most wonderful friends I have are the ones I met online years ago and we still hang out at times ... It was 6 years after my divorce before I had the courage to meet guys again ... you'll know when you're ready ... I would like to be married again some day, too, but I want a forever love, Jack ... most of the guys these days are so jaded because of previous relationships that it's impossible to be seen as myself rather than categorized as a" female like the ex was" ... I refuse to be compared to anyone else, Hon- I'm an original and God knows there's not another just like me ... LOL ... (the whole world shouts "Hallelujah" in unison) :)
You know something, my friend? You took your first step here tonight with this blog ... love isn't love until you give it away ... Best wishes to you on this journey, Sweetie ... God bless you always ...
I agree with that completely. And I do believe that sometimes we do think all too much and we find that the most important people past us ....I talked to a friend that has no blog Lyn and said the very same thing. And he was a man, and married. I never have met his wife as we live several in different cities. But he worked along with me at one time.
ReplyDeleteSex like a cheap poster and the image last so long, love and a companion are something that lays down a foundation and goes so much further yet there is love.
*smiling* yessir ... you're gonna be just fine, my friend ... now give yourself a hug for me and enjoy the holiday ... if you get bored, feel free to join me in the south as we anticipate the unwelcome arrival of Gustav ... I just hope to goodness he's nothing like Katrina was ...
ReplyDeleteCin I used to have a group. It was before the time of yahoo y360 and blogs and there were so many women that wanted to call me at that time I was taking care of my folks and I was back in another town. Now I find that the door opened and I missed a few things that may have came my way. But that is past. What is important now is that I am older, yet not old, and I have matured formal that came to me back at that time. I could list off the online people, but that is something of the past. Now I find that I would like to have that open door but at the same time now I understand what online risks are. And I don't have a cam any longer I threw that thing out. Although even then I was very conservative with it and I would listen to the person.
ReplyDeleteYou really think that on blogging that you can meet someone. Hmmm, that is really something that I have only made ties with women that are married or in some respect. I don't have it on right now and I feel that I have lost time. And then again I get all these calls regarding my family and I feel like a priest.
I took a large step in fact this is virtual as they say but I usually love to write on ethics and I will do the odd audio. Aside of that, I don't place much within my own self. Really. I place more in doing so many things and having consideration to others. I really do. I write in an authentic manner.
Same to you my friend - same to you.
Who knows not down I just watched a movie that is nto much of a "man's movie" the other night called "Notting Hill" and it made me think with my heart not my head.
ReplyDeleteHoney, I know it's a great testing field ... by taking our time and writing, by asking questions, we are allowed to delve into parts of ourselves that would remain hidden ... different folks have a way of inviting us to open up that part of ourself and discover it's beauty ... the attributes we find endearing and enchanting are often the ones which lay dormant from lack of exposure ...
ReplyDeleteIt's a whole new world, Jack ... life is so wonderful and exciting ...
You mentioned married women, Jack ... it's not unusual to attract the hungry when you possess what they are hungry for, my friend ... perhaps it's your gentleness, your intellect, whatever- you're showing them something they are missing in their own life, Hon ... although it isn't up to you to provide for the defecit, you act as a watchman sounding the alarm that something is missing and they need to find it within themselves ... we're all teachers in a way, Jack ... we share our paths we've trod, the heartaches, the joys, the falls ... we're always learning and that's the great part, Jack ... we're fine tuning our idea of who we're searching for to fill the emptiness in our hearts ...
*smiles* ... good for you, Hon
ReplyDeleteI really don't care all that much and I really am my own self, I don't have to portray anything but that Cin.
ReplyDeleteWe are. We men can be and we are!
ReplyDeleteI think your entirely correct there. It has as I took one large risk way back when I was younger and she got the condo and I had to come back to Canada.
Simple I don't know your name but you and one other gent are one of the rare ones that will write to something like this. The pasta was alright. I am not a great cook. But all in all I know what co dependancy is - which I have never been but then as time goes on I am wondering if codependancy is really co creating. I am beginning to find and go for things as I think you can see all that was wrote here and I do breach most of the blogs and fortunate for me that one gent as well as another took that chance. Love is a risk. And so often we don't wish to write on it. I have some of my own songs on here and I don't wish to serenade anyone. I have been in both your country as well as being here in western canada and I find that most of perhaps our age are looking but how we look in life may be different.
I don't hang at bars, and I just am making my way after some things in my life. Yet I am whom I am. This is genderless and I am glad so. AS it so rare to see this take place within this obvious subject. Thank you.
No, I don't think of codependency is co-creating, Jack ... being compatible doesn't necessarily mean we're looking for someone to aid us in keeping unhealthy habits ... compatability means acceptance of us- good and bad- and it means the other possesses ways of bringing out the best attributes we have ... it's a good thing, Jack ... we're not looking for completion since no one can possibly give us what we cannot give ourselves ...
ReplyDeleteThat is one very wise statement (not a "simplefool" at all). I'm pretty sure I am not the best one to comment on this. I have been married most of my adult life...the hardest thing in this world to do is stay married. One of the main reasons I come to multiply is to escape the demands of my "real life". No simple answer for ya my friend.
ReplyDeleteOh, please!!! I've seen a couple get married where the guy was 92 and the woman was 90! It's never too late. They even bought a new house with a thirty year mortgage! Now if that isn't positive thinking, I don't know what is! He lived to be 98 and she lived to be 94. So they had four good years of marital bliss. When asked at 96 if he'd remarry, he said if he could find a woman who could turn his eye... Never, never give up.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is on wife number three. (He's finally got it right now. LOL!)
I have been married for eleven years and despite the distance (because my husband works overseas), I could say that I have found the soul mate everyone's been too busy looking for, but haven't found. As is everyone else, he isn't perfect, but he is perfect for me. Our marriage isn't the perfect situation but we manage to fit in just fine.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, a marriage's success doesn't depend on how much you have or how big the love you have for each other, but how much you are willing to sacrifice, how much you are willing to give up so as to make the union work. When we first started out as husband and wife, there had been loopholes all over the place and we found out how different we are... yeah, I said different, but I didn't say incompatible. Over the years, we have made our personal differences work to our advantage with one basic word as guide: RESPECT.
Reading some posts online, I thank God each day for the gift of my husband because that is what he is to me --- a gift. His selflessness, compassion and understanding is something one doesn't find too often these days.
Jack, I would just like to say that there is no perfect partner... only an imperfect person like you who could turn out to be the angel on earth you have been searching for.
I like this blog. It's heartfelt and honest.
ReplyDeleteI like all the comments too - really wise ones.. Hadenough and Simplefool especially, have placed so many pearls of wisdom before you.
I'll only add my personal experience to Cyn's.. I have also met my partner online.. but we were friends for 2 years, commenting on each other's pages, sharing literary interests, daily ups and downs, part of a circle of online friends - not looking to meet up, not romantically inclined, but just drawn together by shared interests, values, morals.. we undestood each other instinctively.
When and if you meet your soulmate, you just know. I think it's one of those things that kind of sneak up on you when you're not looking!
*All the best!*
Married people often envy their single friends thinking life without a partner freeer, better. Those not married envy those who are. Both states have there good and bad points. Married or single I think the same things are experienced, yet being alone can be painful at times.
ReplyDeleteGoing on line might not be a bad idea, just be totally honest, careful, decerning.
Peace
Mark
I totally agree thank you for your write as it's late on Sunday and I am just barbequeing with my friend. I do thank you for what you wrote. And I am just going to come back to this.
ReplyDeleteGoing to come back to this as I just have arrive home as well I am in the midst of barbecuing. Pomise!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking over it during this weekend and I was going to come back and I ended up in bed. And I woke up in the midst of the night here so I understand that real life is what it is. And there is no simple answers yet how often it's something that we set upon our own selves. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThat does put things much into perspective Katherine. In a big way.
ReplyDeleteJean I think your right there with the mention of the willingness to sacrifice. That is after one has a mutual partner. I don't think there is a perfect partner. I though I would write about it as it was on my mind at the time Jean and I thought I would cast it out there. Your fortunate Jean - seems that you have a manner of unconditional love - much like what most would see as being of value and traditional which I think is lacking in many ways in a society that we are trying to get "things" rather than substantial matters within life. I think substance is missing to some extent. My own thoughts and I salute you with your marriage.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
ReplyDeleteThat really amazes me you know. And I am not some old man that is frigid but I am open minded I had met someone or as mentioned earlier online I had met a few people. And with all respect I had not wished to miss an opportunity but I had at the time. As thenI had much on my plate with regards to family matters. I am thinking of Katherine's comment and that sure places a different perspective on things. Soul mates hmmm. Not a negative "hmmm", just a though on what you wrote. Thank you for connecting as well.
It's true Mark. Most at a certain point do envy others being single - some not all. I would hope that within love it's something that is everlasting till death do us part - that is if it happens. And when it happens.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long while in seeing you and glad to have had you write something as you are a deep thinker there and your perspective along with everyones is greatly appreaciate.
Peace to you as well Mark...
Now This was really something to read, I woke up in the middle of the night last night for an hour and then went back to sleep and I truly appreciate what everyone has mentioned, I do. Today is Tuesday September 2nd!
ReplyDelete. When I first started dating after my divorce, I think the smart people could smell my sadness and desperation and the others I had to get restraining orders. I became addited to online quickies.. Today, things are better calmer, I have online frienships...but old schools works best for me
ReplyDeleteToday I am thinking about someone exclusive in my life...there is no rush and for right now its about enjoying live with friends and dating which means movies,walking, lunch dinner and sometimes breakfast.