"To Engage or Not to Engage"

"Just when I get out they are sucking me back in" ~ Al Pacino, Godfather III

 

I find when I am about to enter into an argument, I never get into it, it’s not due to the fact that I wish to get into an argument. But I find that progress for myself is something that I cast off what I already know. My brother and I are much alike however at times we are very different.  Tonight I had a call from my brother as he was in a panic to resolve a situation. He wished for me to go over to his shopping center, as there were things that required me. So I had a call from my sister in law and rather than listening to her banter on, as she never cares much about anyone except herself – she insisted that I call my brother. Well, I knew that he had called as it was on my telephone display – and knowing that I am taking this time to get rid of this infection I was not going to enter that situation, as I know it so well.  My brother in some ways is desires to have people fix things for him and work around him. And when he set his wife to call me, rather than getting into it with her as she was adamant in telling me that I have to go do something, well, I don’t have to do one thing.  But perhaps under different circumstances I would have helped if I was not on sick leave and was able to. 

 

When finally cutting to the chase and calling my brother at his office – he was so fast in wanting to get into it. That I just basically told him “what would you do if I was not here?” followed by don’t you have a plan in place for someone to assist if something has broken down and you need someone to come in over night and over watch the mall?” As I mentioned to him that I just arrived here – meaning I moved here and if you can’t stand the heat in the kitchen – well I think it’s time to find some other occupation.  He is younger than myself and I would never have set my wife up to call someone to try to place the obligation onto another. People are people.

 

How we react to situations is what determines our own path and in no way, shape nor form does one need to dwell on areas that come into your realm of life that continually happen. As the way I see it, I recall spending hours on end within that industry of shopping centers. And I never asked anyone to do anything, but I did set up a management situation where I never needed to work in crisis management. 

 

There is a way to communicate and it’s more about understanding how to listen and how to deal with people. Ironically, I don’t hate my brother, but I know I have my own new line of work to do after deciding to take on a new area of occupation. And what is most important to me. Is me – when it comes to dealing with my brothers and sister.  Ironically I am the youngest one.

 

Standing up for what we truly believe can empower us and help us to direct our passions toward greater life experiences. Understanding the underlying reasons within family gives way on knowing when to be direct without it being necessary to get to you.  However, I like everyone do have my limitations, but I would rather handle things in a manner that never need to be handled in a manner where arguments need to come about, but as like anyone, once in a while you do need to communicate otherwise your going to be walked over. And there is a big difference to arguing, then staying calm and then homing into the issue and after listening to it all - just speaking your own mind so that there is clarity so that it does not happen again.

 

As within families - there is always at sometime for each and every one of us that things do come up. Every family has a functional side to it as well varying extents a non-functionality. For myself, I just push it aside and I would rather not dwell on things as such why?

There are somethings that change when they can, and for myself I am in motion and a postive one that is not waivering from situations as such. It's kind of like having three different things to choose to each, and for me I don't care too much for things that  are redundant. As life is about moving forwards. Not backwards.... 

 

What functions is tolerance and maintaining your own self-respect.