And it's everything seems right and how often of recent I have had a person that I have known and yet at the same time there is a distance. Lets just say it's "Martha" privacy sake. I care for her, I wished to have some self time to just gather my thoughts on this as it's been a while since I have made choices within this area of love. A man certainly gives his all to the one he loves. Yet love is a risk that I am willing now to take. Nevertheless it's a risk. It's obvious to see that one has to be happy within themselves yet I have seen where when there comes about that connectiveness between two and with all doubts set aside there comes about love. I have pondered "it's it too late", do I meet up to her expectations. There was a time not too long ago I opted go my own direction. This was not by way of a blog. There are so many things that do come to mind and with most everyone that is a friend on my blog is married. So I guess I have my situations and obviously she has hers. Yet I know I am not a kid anymore and to me there I don't wish to pass this by. Yet for both me and "Martha" we get it complicated or maybe I do - not in the manner of fights or otherwise, but there was a time that I threw all the eggs in one basket. This was my reason for posting this as there are some very intelligent people on here - regardless of age. I have had a block that has been going on within my writes for the past two or even six days. So I posed this question pertaining to mutuality/love/and risks...
And this is why I have I hope that some of you out there are able to give your thoughts, I know some won't and I know it's a risk. I just say it the way it is and that is my quandary...a good one yet it is a large one that I have. This is why I outsource love and the question with regards to it. "Martha" is 3,000 miles away. I have talked to my close friends offline about her and all that I know is that for every person on this earth a foundation with another that stands the test of time is love. I never would do something in haste, yet it's complicated, and I think right now for both of us.
Wishing you the Best!
ReplyDeleteLOL ok.....
ReplyDeleteYou live only once. Go for it. Try..your able to walk away...but..what if..just what if shes the one???? Then you will never have to regret the NOT. If you dont...I would think you will and with good reason always wonder. stop pondering. Look in the mirror..Your a handsome man...and smile--be happy. Without risk in my opinion..life is not worth living.
ReplyDeleteThank you much!
ReplyDeleteI can only echo the advice Holly gives, Jack. What the hell...we all go around once in this world.
ReplyDeleteYeah Doug, there have been some married for years. I did it once and oh I have taken risks - smart risks, realistic ones.
ReplyDeleteSome have been together for years. So I literally had the intention to write this and see what comes back. Yeah life is only lived once and
maybe it does get complicated as we age you know. I am conservative with things of this nature. You have been married for years.
So...it's good thoughts just not overthinking it just taking the time to see if I have not became to set in my own ways...I am sure we both are right
now...
Don't overthink it..that's for sure. Sounds like you are on the right track. Best to you in this.
ReplyDeleteGo for it my friend if it was meant to be it will all work out and if not well you gave it your best--at least you tried right--
ReplyDeleteThanks its very authentic Doug and yet I know its risky... but so be it.
ReplyDeletewow....Thanks much Heidi, why not! I think you know I am cautious I thank you. What is life without that chance or without love. A gent is not after looks, mind you what we come to see is something within the eyes of the beholder.
ReplyDeleteHi Lydia....:)
ReplyDeleteWell some will pass this by as it's very avante guard within a blog but all in all I am glad I wrote it.
ReplyDeletehi....its om if i comment ?
ReplyDeletei dont claim to have much wisdom....
are you saying she is 3000 miles away and married ?
when you meet that one special person, when the thought of living a life with her will take precedence over everything else.....when your arms will literally ache to hold her and vice versa.....all your doubts will vanish because there will be no other road left to take.
its not material for books, happens in real life too.
my dear loving is from the heart and not the head.......follow your karma and the rest will fall into place....
hi no she is not married but live the distance....reading.
ReplyDelete"when you meet that one special person, when the thought of living a life with her will take precedence over everything else.....when your arms will literally ache to hold her and vice versa.....all your doubts will vanish because there will be no other road left to take.its not material for books, happens in real life too.my dear loving is from the heart and not the head.......follow your karma and the rest will fall into place...." Thank you you know I have some clarity" I thank you....
ReplyDeleteThank you your Heathers friend...thanks much again...
ReplyDeletesmiling.....you are welcome.
ReplyDeleteLove is an emotion so basically one cannot analyse it .... you need to listen to your heart and to your gut instincts ..... if it feels right ... then it is right!!
ReplyDeleteI will say it namaste :) why not!
ReplyDeleteAs of now and all that I have thought about over these few days, I have thought much about it but it does. It's not right, till one toes curl up :) Just kidding :)
ReplyDelete~chuckle~ ... yes ... the toes definitely have to curl up ...... but even more importantly is to forefill the ideal of toes touching toes ....
ReplyDeleteYeah...toes touching toes while having a coffee or watching a movie yeah... :)
ReplyDeleteThis may sound hokey, but it's not. I wrote a series of poems on "Many My Loves," not sappy or mushy at all. Yet. In all my experiences, (I'm 37 going on 60), when I felt any doubt, an extended relationship never worked out. Each man had some special thing I enjoyed sharing. Music, gourmet cooking, flying, literature, so on. But not one man had them all. I still find that a bit strange, as I had them all! When I first met the man I'd marry, I simply knew. INSTANTLY. I never believed in "love at first sight," but this was different than "just" love. I thought that soul mates were silly, too. Well, we were. How about that!
ReplyDeleteI honestly can't equate "wisdom" with love, (or was that in another blog)? Love is an emotion that has little or no wisdom in it. Intuition? Yes.
I also don't believe in "working things out," like stumbling blocks. Seems one is always stumbling over something, some block that's new & unpredictable. Perhaps I just like things to be smooth, totally compatible. They can be. If one meets the right person.
I don't believe in "searching." It will happen or it won't. That being said, my marriage was short, because my husband died a very bizarre death, & I almost died taking care of him. I'd not take anything back. The time we spend with someone isn't relative at all. It's the quality, & value of it.
I'm fine with those who say "Take the risk." That's how they feel. But not me. Not ever.
I really feel I must come back to this.
ReplyDelete"...do I meet up to her expectations."
Wow. Do you have any idea what her expectations might be? Do you think she'll meet yours? What precisely are expectations? Do we accept each other as we are, or not? To what degree is each person willing to give if compromise is needed?
Another thing to evaluate, is how much a person wants another in their life, to what extent would one go for this want, & the possible consequences. I certainly hope I'm not sounding negative, that's not my intention. Just be sure to weigh the scales to the benefit of both.
Now, I'll go away! :)
Hi Jack..long distance love is hard but if both are willing to work at it..I guess anything is possiable.good luck with this..
ReplyDeleteJack, great post! I have on occasion found myself in a long distance relationship or two. Here is a link that I thought was quite helpful: http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Long-Distance-Relationship-Work. There is some excellent advice encapsulated in the article, of course when tailored to your own personal situation you may start a blog of your own. Call it "Joys and Challenges of the LDR" :)
ReplyDeleteGood morning dear Jack, being single myself I can relate to the thought of being so set in our own ways that it might be difficult to adjust to living with another. When I read you, I can feel the questioning yet as well, I feel more that impression that you feel that all seems quite right. When I read your friends comments, I smile at the curling toes.... yes they do have to curl lol! ;)
ReplyDeleteWhen I think of risks, I can`t help but think of all those who leave their countries and start a new life in a far away place, starting from zero because they deeply believe that it is for the best. Often times, they do very well indeed and are very happy. It certainly takes a lot of courage to leave everything behind.
All I can say is follow your heart. Wish I had more time to write this morning but I am already late... must get going
Wishing you the Best and a Wonderful day dear Jack
I don't think anyone is to old or set in their ways to enjoy love and all it offers. It offers so much. It's a great ecstasy. And worth the step in.
ReplyDeleteI guess the question in any relationship is can you meet the demands of the relationship? Having someone special whom to share life's joys and sorrows is truly a blessing. Some can fill a void that will never empty. It can satisfy our inborn craving for love, companionship, and intimacy. It can solve some problems. But it will introduce some new ones too. Because any relationship is the blending of two distinct personalities that are perhaps compatible but hardly identical.
You know Jack it's not how well you get alone in good times-although we love those-- but also how you both handle the bad times. Because it's the bad times were people break up and hurt each other despite all the good times they may have or had with each other. They can't weather the storm. But don't let that scare you. Never let it scare you. No doubt you can list the qualities you would want in someone. It is much more difficult, however, to look at yourself to determine how you can contribute to this relationship. Self-scrutiny is vital, I think, both before, during and after any relationship. If you want the best out of it.
I think you have a lot to offer someone-- But do you know what that is?
.such an interesting blog.. a lot to think about ..each person is an individual..so,,maybe we have to *play it by Ear.?...[hugs]
ReplyDeleteI run into this problem too with that distance being an issue and have not taken chances as well but how do you know if you don't take one? Just be sure she feels the same way as you before you go.. GOOD LUCK!
ReplyDeleteYou can weigh the positive things against the concerns ..What you feel would make the relationship a good thing against the challenges of why perhaps it's not meant to be but if it is love no matter how many obstacles are weighing heavy it's the love that turns the table in favor of you following your heart. I'm not sure how to say that. Hope it makes sense
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best!
ReplyDeleteSo very true Lucija..."weighing the scales of the benifits with regards to both"....this is very wise as when I read it it does make very much sense...
ReplyDeleteI know Jules...
ReplyDeleteYour instincts will clarify it all. You have enough experience to draw from in your brain cells. It will all sort itself so don't stress too much about it. If it is meant to be you will know, and without a doubt.
ReplyDeleteShall read this Xavier as I just literally logged on. By the way you are an inspiration with your writes.
ReplyDeleteWell it was a time out to think about things as "Martha" was doing the same. Well, I have done that before but it does take a courage and I kind of think that we are very much on the same level as before. So I am "Martha" and I are making some plans and come next weekend - I shall be there but before this I do wish to get some writes but rather than thinking and over thinking this there is a harmony. I was talking with a friend today and ironically he is a man that is very professional one that I have respected for years and ironically he said that mutuality does make the world go around. So, there is a something rather good within this all. And as well, wishing you the best Danielle.
ReplyDeleteYour story was inspiring...I wish you the best..
ReplyDeleteHaddy yeah I do, I really do. I will write on it as I want to get in some of my own writes before I am gone for a while...
ReplyDeletePromise that I will answer this one. I have never been scared, I am just conservative.
You can write Haddy! Boy oh boy you can write.
Caroline I don't mean to sound funny but you have seen Monty Python yeah? lol. There comes a time that it's time and It think that it is that time. So with my spare parts I shall fly over and what the heck!
ReplyDeleteI never have nor got on blogging to find women, I thought this what very worth the share....oh a few years ago I passed something up and seemingly have rekindled it. It's all within a mutual manner - yet one never throws all the eggs into anothers nest. One keeps one for oneself, well I am not sure on that one but with distance or anything never wait too long is what I figure Lisa.
ReplyDeleteThis does make sense very much so...
ReplyDeleteGo for it then!
ReplyDeleteThanks you much and to you as well Lisa...
ReplyDeleteTime is a factor....
ReplyDeleteThank you Karyn...
ReplyDeleteJack, I was 18 and only out of high school a month when I got married, and we had only dated 5 months!!! That's been almost 26 years ago ( June 30th). Nobody thought we would make it, and there have been a few tough times but so worth it!! I say to you,,, Go for it! Live your life.
ReplyDeleteI had a man fly here from australia, to meet me.. after a month he ask me to marry him...OMG! I said NO.. he flew back to australia. I wasn't ready, given alittle more time I would have most likely said yes. He married another, Fate or mistake. Playing it always safe, is not living. Go for it!
ReplyDeleteAs we used to say when I was doing the single scene, he seems really, really nice but he's G.U. (geographically unsuitable) ;-D and we weren't considering thousands of miles away either.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, it's a very personal decision depending on your own present life situation ... children, career, boredom, aging parents, health concerns, degree of lonliness, desperation, adventure, romantizing, etc., etc., etc., all enter into the big picture. Only you know the truth, only you.
Kudos to you and I am....simple as that. Man what I have done within today worth yeah it's worth it....Thanks there Cath.
ReplyDeleteJC I think that I have been read for this for a while now. This is certainly food for thought. I think each person is different in how they do things especially within this area. But am going for it and she is as well...unless she has that last minute repercussions. Yet I don't think so...this has not been a fast thing, then again what is fast?
ReplyDeleteIt is a very personal decision Frani there are no doubts on that. I am far past those single scenes. I did this before back in NY and well there has been closure with that situation for some ten years now. Oh I know what you mean - well one thing is for sure. Truth that certainly strings a thought. I have been honest with her with literally everything and so has she...but there will be that large truth when two people see each other again.
ReplyDeleteI believe even if it were to fail, you can look upon it in a positive light. Adventure, living life... when a door closes a window opens. nothing is ever the end, only new beginnings.
ReplyDeletemy little adventure with the aussie was 2 years in the making of it before we met. I was divorcing when we met, I was somewhat not in touch with the real world.LOL All big eyes and romance.. hehehehe! ( sigh ) I'd not change anything. It was a blast!
In the movie " out of Africa " Karen said to the Baron Blixen.. when she spoke to him of marriage. And if it doesn't work out we both will have been somewhere. One the best Romantic movies ever.